The Blog of a Teenage Guy

Post 197 | The 84th Academy Awards

2012-02-28T23:15:00.000-06:00

In my little attempt to stay relevant I guess I should do one of those posts talking about the Oscars.

Let's start out with Hugo. What is with it winning so much and getting so much attention? The only kid's film that can get any sort of recognition at the Oscars (other than animated movies) has to be directed by Martin Scorcese? Seriously? No Harry Potter love at all? Are you kidding? It just makes me upset. After all these years they were not able to get a single Oscar even though they so undoubtedly deserved them. Alan Rickman for all of the awards. I am really just baffled that it won so much. It one four awards almost right off the bat.

The Artist was obviously a lot of peoples' favorite going into the entire thing. Everyone who has seen it seems to have loved it and all of those old white guys voting for the Academy Awards must have really loved it. I am somewhat interested in seeing it, but it is not on the top of my list. I'm alright with it winning what it did, but in some ways I find it strange that the lead actor won best actor. He did not even have to talk? I guess it was unique and he portrayed it so well that he won? I don't know, again I'll have to see it at some point.

Moving on from the awards let's talk about the show itself. I found it much better than it has been in previous years. We have gone through so many random hosts and odd jokes and weird things that I am glad they finally classed the thing up. The entire thing felt very well put together and Billy Crystal did a phenomenal job. There has been a lot of internet hate about it but me and the other two I was watching it with really enjoyed his jokes and such. Not to mention most of the presenters did an excellent job as well.

Robert Downey Jr.'s bit was really funny, Emma Stone's was as well, and Will Ferrel's and Zach Galifinakis's was too. They did a really good job. The animations and props and huge set pieces were all very well done and everything just fit together so well it felt like a really well put together production. I wouldn't mind watching them again, honestly.

So one Academy Award season has ended and we are into a whole new batch of movies yet again. I hope we get some good ones this year. I do not think it will live up to the awesomeness of HP7.2 though... I do not think anything ever will...

Keep up the great work Hollywood! Thanks for reading as always and you should really consider telling your friends to read my blog. Ok? Cool? Yeah? Awesome.

Post 196 | Almost 20

2012-02-24T14:48:00.001-06:00

So at dinner last night I realized something... I am no longer going to be a teenager in about three weeks. That is really weird to think about. My teen years have been amazing and awesome and life-changing and thrilling and all of that! But now that I am not going to be a teenager what am I supposed to change my blog to?

It has been "The Blog of a Teenage Guy" for so long now! It's gunna be really weird changing it but I think it's the right thing to do. It's either that or start a new blog entirely on my other Gmail account which almost seems like something to do... Hmmm...

It is a weird turning point I guess. I have the chance to start fresh and begin a new blog or do I revamp this one and keep it going? Decisions, decisions... I feel like this is a creative conversation that needs to be had with some of my friends.

It would be really sad to see this blog go, I've just written so much on here and journeyed basically throughout most of my teenage years. Well, they ain't over yet!

I have really had some really great times. I have made awesome, life-long friends, stayed up late playing video games, watched tons of movies, built tons of legos, written a lot, attempted to make stop-motion animations, created podcasts, tried to save a tv show, fell in love, helped build a house, gone to Chicago numerous times, driven cars, gone to the movies a ton, read a lot of books, went to the launch of a video game system, played a lot of board games, became an Apple addict, drawn, painted, created, and just have had a great time.

There have been a lot of struggles too. Relationships strained in both my family life and with some of my friends, but hey, I have always pulled through. I think it really helps to work towards having a positive attitude towards life overall.

If you are consistently looking for negatives, that is all you are going to see. Instead if you are looking for positives they will shine even brighter and it can help you set your priorities straight. Trust me, I speak from experience. Life is good, go out and live it! I am trying to best I can, even if I make mistakes, at least I am having a good time doing it.

Trying to live without regret is a huge struggle but I think one we all really need to reach towards. If you went out to a party and had a great time and got wasted, try not to regret the hangover in the morning. If you went out and smoked pot or something, and had a great time while doing it, try not to regret it. Now I have done neither of those things but I can only imagine there is some level of fun involved.

Try forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made. Realize that you are just human and any mistakes you make only help you become who you are, or help you grow as a person. I have made mistakes in the past and I am working on not regretting so much, but things will keep nagging at you and you really cannot get past that.

Anyways, I'm almost 20! It's crazy! I have been "The Blog of a Teenage Guy" for... a little under five years now, that is a lot of time. So anyways, keep your eyes peeled for my transition into being twenty-something. Thanks as always for reading and you should tell your friends to come here and read my stuff... Really.

Post 195 | Helplessness

2012-02-22T20:07:00.001-06:00

So a few days ago I wrote about the song "Helplessness Blues" by Fleet Foxes, it's a really great song, and has little to do with my latest blog titled "Helplessness," it is just kind of coincidence.

Helplessness is a terrible feeling. That feeling of not being able to do anything about the one thing you want to do something about. I am feeling it heavy right now having had an argument with my girlfriend only to have her go to a meeting thing and be unable to text me back. It really sucks. Not being able to communicate when I need to communicate the most is something that I absolutely loathe.

Being unable to do anything to solve the problem is one of my biggest fears in life. If I cannot do something to fix a wrong in my life I feel like an absolute failure at whatever it may be. Maybe it is just something I did, or maybe it was part of a paper I realized I did something wrong in but already turned in, or maybe it is not being able to help a friend get through something.

Helplessness. I do not think people talk about it enough. We all talk about sadness and depression and anxiety and such but I think helplessness is one of the biggest feelings behind a lot of those things. I am extremely upset that I am helpless in this situation right now. Who knows when I will be? I have been sitting here watching the clock tick by minute by minute just hoping she will get out of her thing or text me the hell back.

I am not going to sit here and explain the argument as much as I would like to. I feel like that is crossing a line. That is why one of my longest and most intense posts was never put up, it was just too much I think.

But anyways, if you ever feel helpless I am right there with you. I am not really sure what to do about it except perhaps accepting the situation and just hoping it will get better. Trying to calm myself down is a big one, deep breaths, doing something distracting or perhaps mind numbing. Just something that keeps your mind off of whatever you are trying to help but cannot.

In this moment, for instance, I am going to start playing a video game I think. Maybe some Starcraft II, it is a good distractor because it requires so much attention and is one of the few games here that actually works decently over the school's online network.

I'll have a post talking about the upcoming name change as I will no longer be a teenager in a few weeks. It'll be an interesting transition and I really hope I do not lose any readers because of a possible URL change. Thanks for reading as always and please point your friends in my general direction!

Post 194 | Leading to Thoughts

2012-02-22T13:00:00.000-06:00

So I am starting to write posts and then set them up to publish at different times, just to keep my blog updated on a regular basis. This is the second post I am writing for the evening the one that came up yesterday was also written this evening (Feb 20, 2012) so yeah, but I want to talk about something.

Why does experiencing one thing lead to a whole new thought pattern? Life can be great and then you see one thing, hear one song, see one picture, and all of a sudden your mind is going the opposite direction it has been going for weeks?

It is like this little switch in your brain that turns you from going up to down, or from right to left. It is so confusing for me. I can be completely and amazingly happy and suddenly something will happen that will lead me to think I am not... But I am. Or am I?

Get it? I barely do myself. There are all sorts of thoughts that run through my head and some are good and some are, well, not so good. Some lead to great things and others to thoughts that I wish I did not think sometimes. But that is the amazing thing about us humans, the capacity of thought. The ability to basically think of anything. We have this endless capacity for learning and this endless capacity to create new thoughts and connections in our brains.

It is really quite something, but when those thoughts turn against you is when it becomes absolutely dangerous. Like scary dangerous. Could lead you to perhaps doing something you might regret, or perhaps making a decision you would not normally make. But maybe those thoughts are good for us.

They help us realize what we want out of life. What we really want in the moment. Those experiences that we might regret actually help us grow as people. Mistakes help. Even if we dislike them, we usually realize the wrong-doing and do-right from that moment on. Mistakes are what shape us. Our problem solving capabilities lead us to becoming better people.

Whether it be just learning not to say something to someone, or learning not to pull the fire alarm (even though it says PULL), or learning not to act a certain way, or anything else, thoughts lead to mistakes which lead to learning. But if those thoughts are too dangerous for you, maybe you need to talk to someone.

Maybe you have made the mistake before and have corrected it but are proceeding to make the same mistake over and over again, leading down a dark path. That is the time where it is best to discuss it with someone, maybe you just have to talk about it with someone else on the internet, or perhaps with a close friend.

Ok, my preachy blog is done now. Thanks for reading as always, tell your friends to come here!

Post 193 | Writing

2012-02-21T13:00:00.000-06:00

So my friend Rebecca is currently in the process of writing a book, and I do not mean to steal her thunder in any way, but it has inspired me to write something of my own. But what should I write? A short story? A book? A novella? A script? I have no idea!

I wrote what should be considered fan fiction basically for Studio 60 many years ago now. It was basically my spin on the entire thing because I honestly did not want to see it die. But what would I write that is my own? I did a short story a while ago that some people seemed to really like, but what now? I should just start brainstorming ideas eh? That would be a good first step, eh? Ideas are a good place to start.

I am never one for coming up with a solid idea and running with it, I like ideas and the like to develop as I am writing or thinking about my writing. I do not like to have a formal outline or anything, I just like going for it and hopefully something good will come out in the end. So, I ask myself the question once again, what to write?

Screenplays and scripts have to be detailed in such a way that is incredibly interesting to me. The setting, the movement of characters, the expressions of characters and such all detailed in this huge script. A book is an entity all on its own. An undertaking that should not be taken so lightly. A novella is something between a book and a short story and sounds like something I could do. I think short stories have a tendency to stretch to novella lengths sometimes.

I can imagine coming up with a short story but developing it so much it becomes much longer and detailed than originally planned. I have done realistic fiction before, taking people and places I know and basically coming up with scenarios that were not all that unlikely.

Writing intrigues me, and is something I really enjoy doing. As you can probably tell I am attempting to write on here every day which is a good step for me on the path to writing more and more in my spare time. Reading and writing. Two things I love doing but reading I am finding harder and harder to get into these days. I think I need to pick up a really good fiction novel to get into it again and give the Steve Jobs biography.

So writing, I think I am going to give it a shot, Microsoft Word is not my favorite tool ever but here's hoping eh? I like writing out by hand and all but I love typing and I find myself getting better and better at it all the time. I used to suck as a typist and only barely managed to pull myself through all those classes but I am much improved with all the papers and such I have been writing for my various classes. Ok, so writing. Here's to it and here's hoping I can come up with some idea. Thanks for reading, tell your friends to come here!

Post 192 | This GIF

2012-02-19T20:00:00.002-06:00

So, I have this wonderful thing called a tumblr, and while on it the other day I came across this wonderful gif posted by my sister. If you do not know what a gif is, what are you doing on the internet? No, just kidding don't leave, it's just an animated picture. There is a specific reason I especially like this one.

Take a look at what is going on in this picture. Look at all of those people. Perhaps thousands of them, all at the same time swinging those light things. Look how awesome that is. All of those people coming together for a singular thing. Maybe it is just a concert, maybe this was at the Olympics or something, but look at that. Now apply that idea to anything in the world.

People coming together for a purpose. Sure waving some lights around is not some grand feat, but maybe it was a really awesome show that really touched some people. Anyways, apply the idea to more. Apply it to Occupy, or the Red Cross, or any volunteer type thing that just helps the world. Maybe it is just Extreme Makeover: Home Edition where a few hundred people build a house for someone.

Our world is friggin' fantastic. Human beings are what make this world amazing. Sure there are some who can really screw it up once and a while, but those who just want to help, and live, and just be, are what make this world what it is.

People want something to believe it, well I say first and foremost you should believe in yourself. Believe you can do anything, don't just fold into the the society that has been laid out for you. Get what you want out of life. Try things. Climb a mountain, go on a walk by yourself, eat cake, rock out to music you love, just be a person.

I know life can be rough and things can happen, but look at this gif. People just having an awesome time. That could be you. I am hoping to go to a Coldplay concert and this is how I hope I feel, music that I love and people that love it and things just rock. Sure I have been to other concerts before, I was at one in December and I am going to one in April, but those are just concerts of music other people love. I just like going to Chicago, but for something like Coldplay, that's where I'm going to rock it out.

So, whether it be at a concert, or maybe you are rocking out while building a house for something, or maybe you are in your room in your underwear dancing around like a maniac, I hope you know the world is awesome, and people are pretty awesome, and life is worth living for moments like that. Thanks for reading, tell your friends to come here.

Post 191 | Helplessness Blues

2012-02-19T00:36:00.000-06:00

So a while back I heard this song on WXRT 93.1 the classic rock radio station in Chicago and I thought it sounded alright. Later that weekend I heard it again so, being the person I am, Shazamed it. Helplessness Blues, alright I'll check that out at some point. I hear it again, Shazam it again, oh wait I already Shazamed that song, I guess I like it!

So hear I am, having bought the song and listening to it I cannot get enough of this wonderful song. It is 12:26am and I am rocking out in my chair while my roommate sleeps. I love the song but I also love the lyrics. I am about to dive into them a little bit so here is a link to the lyrics and one to the song on YouTube.

The song starts out with the set up of being raised up a child with your parents telling you how unique you are and how special you are and how you are going to make a difference in the world. "A snowflake distinct among snowflakes..."

Then it moves into this somewhat depressing part where our narrator says he wants to be part of the machine. He goes through this change in thought where he wants to do nothing but serve. "Tell me what I should do."

However, throughout the song we get the chorus saying he does not know what he will do or who to believe. This sense of being lost, and the thing is I am in touch with that so much. I know what it is like to be lost and be confused and in some ways just want to do what people tell you to do to survive day by day.

However, in the end he talks about a peaceful life, working in an orchard. "If I had an orchard I'd work till I'm soar..." The funny thing I was just thinking about simply moving to California and try and make it as a wine maker or perhaps Florida and grow oranges. Sounds like something I could do. It'd be really hard work, yeah, but in the end living that kind of life might be very peaceful.

I really like the song and am going to do some digging into the Fleet Foxes some more, I want to know what else they have in that music library of theirs. Thanks for reading. Tell your friends to come.

Post 190 | Academy Awards Nominations 2012

2012-02-15T20:59:00.000-06:00

Here I am, a film fan, well somewhat of a film fan. I would not call me a major film nerd by any measure but I really enjoy watching great movies. Sit me down with a bowl of popcorn, some M&Ms, a bottle of root beer, The Godfather, or the Network and you got yourself a happy Jake. But one thing you can definitely call me is a Harry Potter fan. An ENORMOUS Harry Potter fan. I am no film critic, and I have never professionally written a film review; however, at some point even the people in Hollywood have to admit the final Harry Potter movie is one of the best films ever to grace our movie screens.

I have not seen every other movie on The Best Picture list or listened to every soundtrack from all of those nominated, and I have not gone to film school but I will be looking through the categories and kicking out someone and instead replacing them with Harry Potter people where I see fit. There are some categories where actors/actresses or composers or directors or anyone who worked on those films deserves at least a nomination for The Academy Awards

So, with a tab open to this, let's work down the list.

Best picture? Kick out Hugo and put in Deathly Hallows Part 2. I mean Martin Scorcese can get away with making a kid's film and have it be nominated for an Oscar but David Yates cannot? What kind of crap is that? From what I saw of clips and previews there is no way in hell that movie was better that DH Pt. 2. In case you could not tell from my opening I am going to be crazy biased here, and well, get over it if you have a problem with it, these are my opinions and while you may have different ones, I can respect that, just do not go bashing me. If you disagree with me placing Deathly Hallows Part 2 on the list at all just remove Hugo altogether and leave the list at that.

Actor in a leading role? Eh, don't really feel like touching, but there is no denying that Daniel Radcliffe did an outstanding job with Harry in the final movie. The waves of emotion we go through with him are amazing. Actress, no one really here either, I would put Rupert Grint and Emma Watson in the supporting actor and actress roles, but not for this movie. Part 1 yes, Part 2 was definitely not centered on them.

For supporting actor? Well, Alan Rickman. ALAN RICKMAN. GET IT IN YOUR HEADS YOU MOVIE PEOPLE THIS MAN DID AN AMAZING JOB WITH SNAPE AND GAVE ONE OF THE MOST EMOTIONALLY JARRING PERFORMANCES EVER AND UGH I TEARED UP WHEN HE SAID ALWAYS. Alan Rickman for all of the awards... He just did an amazing job, even if this was not based on a book his character, after all of these movies, ugh, he deserves a standing ovation and golden statue for his work.

Supporting Actress? Also Alan Rickman... A joke of course, Maggie Smith did a great job as always, I always get goose bumps when she says "Potter... It's good to see you." I got goose bumps right there writing about it, but I do not thinks he played a large enough role to be a supporting actress for this movie. I already covered Emma Watson...

Animated Feature Film Cars 2 sucked but I am slightly upset Kung Fu Panda 2 beat it, makes me laugh a little, but Harry Potter stuff moving on...

Cinematography... Again please remove Hugo and replace DH2. Seriously! What is it with Scorcese getting acknowledge for this film out of everything he has done? Did you see the way DH2 was shot? Did you feel the emotions? Did you feel the fall of Snape when he saw Lily dead? Did you fly around the castle as it exploded left and right? Yes you did, it was amazing and you all need to realize that.

Art Direction! Hey we have a nomination! And by GOD IF STUART CRAIG DOESN'T WIN I WILL CRY. Seriously, the world he created for us, for all of us Harry Potter fans, and for people who are not really is truly astounding and amazing in every way. Every detail and part of the castle, ah! I love it so much and I saw Midnight in Paris and it definitely beats that.

Costume Design... This one is iffy on me but no one can deny how amazing everyone looked in DH2. Did you know the trolls were actually people in costumes? I bet you did not! Watch those special features. All the Death Eaters looked great and everyone had this look of death and war on them throughout that battle that was amazing. Ok, yes they deserve to be nominated, I do not know who to kick out by DH2 should be there.

Directing... I bow down to you David Yates. I will steal an Oscar and deliver it to you personally if you never get one.

Documentary Feature... well if the events of Harry Potter actually happened... Documentary Short... Film Editing. Go back and watch DH2 and you will love the pacing of it. Seriously the way it flows and all the beats hit just right. I would not have minded more battle scenes but oh damn, just so good! Throw them in this category please!!!

Foreign Language Film... Um, nominate it for being in Spanish somewhere? Make up! Also nominated! Please win! Battle scars! Voldemort! Everyone! Ah! PLEASE WIN!!!

Music (Original Score). Oh. My. God. How was DH2 not nominated? Have they listened to that score? Have they head Lily's Theme? HAVE THEY? Anything I have heard from any of the other movies nominated does not even compare to the moving score of DH2. The battle scenes are so excellently scored, and the subtle moments crafted so perfectly. And the Epilogue using a classic John Williams song from the first movie! That should win this category alone!!!

Music (Original Song), Lily's Theme, yep. Short Film (Animated)... Short Film (Live Action)... Sound Editing and Sound Mixing should both have Harry Potter in their categories. The scene where Harry goes to die is the perfect example of what makes that movie's sound so fantastic. And the sounds of the battle happening and the sounds of the statues coming to life and everyone's voice and everything else with the sound in that movie. In both categories it deserves a nomination and a win. So much better than the Transformers sound.

Visual Effects we have another nomination. Woop woop! I doubt we will win in comparison to Rise of the Planet of the Apes but DH2 should. Just for the battle scenes alone, that and Voldemort who looks so real. Like scary real. The trolls and the dementors and all the spells and magic happening all the time is just crazy and really deserves this award.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - this movie is Stephen Kloves at his BEST. I am so glad they let this book be split in two. He was able to make the beats in the second one so excellent that it works so well! Sure I can get nit picky about the battle and stuff but as a movie, it worked amazingly well and I feel is the best adapted screenplay compared to Moneyball at least. And original Screenplay we can't win, well, because J.K. Rowling wrote HP.

So there you have it, my addition of Harry Potter into the nominations for the Academy Awards. Whether you agree with me or not, I do not care. Alan Rickman is by far the biggest nod here. Out of anything I suggested he deserves to be nominated and win. Alan Rickman for ALL OF THE AWARDS. Really, I mean it, Best Supporting Actress and all.

Well if you read all of that thanks so much for reading it. I'll post more soon, that was fun for me. I like being a hardcore fan boy about something like this and not being crazy logical. Allows me to get it out of my system. So here's to you Harry Potter crew! You deserve all of the nominations and all of the awards! After watching The Tree of Life, The Help, Moneyball, Ides of March, and Midnight in Paris, you kick all of those movies' asses in my, humble, opinion.

Post 189 | Advertisements

2012-02-14T17:10:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone who possible reads this, I just wanted to give you a quick heads up about what you see below this post and to the right of this post.

There are now advertisements on my blog. I know, they can be annoying but after looking at what Google had to provide and how they would look on my blog I decided to give it a chance. Now I am not going to sit here and tell you to click every single one of them, that is completely up to you! Please don't feel pressure to click or not click, if you see something that interests you click, if not don't!

I trust Google with the fact that ads will appear here that have somewhat to do with what I talk about on here, and that if you decide to click on one of them you will not get a virus or anything. Sure Google could appear to be this big, evil corporation but I trust them with this so just go with it.

Ok that is all I wanted to talk about today, I have an idea for a blog post about some Oscar stuff that I will write sometime this week, probably tomorrow to break from all my speech work. Ok, thanks for reading and for understanding!

Post 188 | Unleashing the Force

2012-02-08T21:59:00.001-06:00

As of late I have been on what some people may call a Star Wars kick. It is more of an obsession than anything else what with the music and the movie watching and the review reading and video game buying. Wait video game buying? Yes! I bought the first Force Unleashed game from Game Stop. And boy, was that a game...

A CRAP GAME. Like extreme crap. Really, all kinds of bad. The concept is amazing. Really. Being able to be in control of this all powerful force-wielding being is simply awesome. Lightning and light sabers and lifting objects up and all of that all sounds great in theory. The game looks great too. It all looks fairly real and decent for 2008 and the physics engine is decent with all of the glass breaking really well and the Storm Troopers grabbing on to one another. But when actually put together into a game, it kind of fails.

Overall it feels like they worked really hard on making the engine great and the story decent that they did not spend nearly enough time making the game perfect. It is almost like they did not throw this game into any testers' hands at all. There are just so many frustrating moments and what could be awesome but gone wrong moments that the game just suffers so much.

I found myself more than a few times being killed in strange ways, or not being able to figure out how to beat a boss, or getting stuck and not knowing I had to lightning strike that engine and force push that out of the way that it was just extremely frustrating. And that is really disappointing.

I had mediocre expectations for this game and it failed them in nearly all accounts. The story was ok, but there were one to many instances of Darth Vader changing his mind to make it completely believable. That and skanky british pilot did not show any real feelings until the end when they kissed and I was like "Where was the set up for that?"

It is really sad that what could have been a great game wound up being so utterly terrible. After watching Jeff Gerstmann at Giant Bomb give a video review I have to agree with everything he says except for the three stars. At most I would have given the game two.

But there is a little bit of hope for the second one, after watching a video for that one it looks significantly improved and I look forward to playing it as well. After my friend Cody is finished playing the first one here.

Well that is all for now, we have a bit of a three day weekend so I am looking forward to getting out of here and sleeping in my own bed and getting some actual girlfriend time with Tasha. Along with giving her the present I bought for her today. Well thanks for reading as always, I'll be writing more soon I expect so keep on coming back!

Post 187 | Studying While Life Continues

2012-02-01T23:57:00.000-06:00

I have never been overly fantastic and studying for exams. I have never had the attention span to be able to concentrate for extended periods of time where I am able to soak up and remember information. I think that is why I am finding college harder and harder these days. The skills I had at studying and retaining information fairly well seem to be slowly leaking out of my ears.

I have a test tomorrow, and I have studied for that test, the best ways I know how. Looking over the study guide multiple times, drawing out the map, ya know, studying type activities, but I cannot shake the feeling that I am unprepared and not ready. No matter how much I study or how hard I try to recall things they simply do not come.

This holds true for other activities as well. I am feeling underprepared for a speech I have to give tomorrow. Oh wait, there is no real preparation I can do for said speech as mentioned in my previous post. But the things she said I could try to do I could not find. For the rant on that teacher just read yesterday's elaborate and insane post.

I don't know... I feel like my mind is slipping away from me and madness is encroaching in on it. So many things are harder for me these days than they should be. There is just so much to do and so little time to do it and yet I feel no motivation to do any of it. I do not want to study, or create an outline, or work on a project, or read chapters for class. I just want to relax and have an awesome life.

Unfortunately that is not quite how it works in America, is it? Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong country. I think I would have preferred being born in France and growing up surrounded by beautiful countries and landscapes and old buildings. I would love to live in Paris and spend hours at the Louvre and just wandering the streets, getting lost in the magic of it all.

But I am here, ever working, barely resting, a man running through oncoming traffic, trying to reach the point in his life where he is truly happy. Because right now, he is not there yet...

I really need to get through the next few weeks and try and stay as positive as possible. I think that is what slows me down sometimes, I think far too much about the negatives and not about the positives. In eighteen hours or so I will be done with that speech and not have to worry about it anymore. I will be done with my test and I can relax a tad.

Deep breath. It'll all be ok. Thanks for reading.

P.S. There are blank spaces on my blog in various places right now, advertisements will be going there. Just something I have decided to do after a lot of thought on it.

Post 186 | Up on the Soap Box

2012-01-31T23:43:00.001-06:00

In my little attempt to continue writing I bring you another blog post. About what now you ask? Well I was thinking I could write a little about college, as it is where I am presently located. Now this little that I will be writing about college will not be some grand analysis of what college contains, but rather a little snippet of what this year has been like for me. I picture myself one day writing such an analysis but I will save that for when I have completed the "college experience."

I am currently within the deep recesses of my Sophomore year of college and boy is it an adventure. This year in particular has brought up a whole new bowl of challenges for me to munch on. First semester was incredibly rough on me and I found myself struggling with not only with my most difficult class yet, but also the simplest classes that should be no problem for me. I was struggling to find my footing and really take off like I usually do. Things do not come easy to me, I work hard to learn the ways I can, but it seemed an extra challenges. So I fought through and came up barely breathing in the end but I managed.

Now that I am a month or so into my second semester I can wholeheartedly state that this one is just as tough as the last, and if I were really to think about it the "toughness" of this year seems to revolve around one particular teacher that is making my life at this Christian school a living, breathing hell.

I am in an undergraduate program for multimedia communications and I would like to emphasize the word undergraduate in this sentence. I am taking classes from numerous teachers and have done so for the past year and half now. All of the teachers I understand, can communicate with, and completely grasp their presented material. I feel like they have pushed me but I am able to learn and grow with each of their teaching and guidance.

However. This teacher, this one teacher, is what I am referring to as an enormous road block. She has taken a thick, concrete wall and slammed it right into the road on the hill I was already climbing. Let us begin with a look at last semester's class, Persuasion and Media Influence.

I was entering this class, knowing full well it was a junior level class and that it would be more difficult, but I did not imagine I was going to have as tough of a time grasping all of the material as I did. Every day in class she was throwing new concepts and ideas around, while using words that sounded foreign and beyond ridiculous to me. She was talking about concepts that I do not think even the smartest person I know would be able to understand. She was teaching ideas that I do not think my mother, who is an incredibly intelligent woman, would be able to completely comprehend.

I struggled all semester, and so did everyone else within the class. We all studied for hours and only barely managed to pull out C's and B's on tests. We were completely befuddled and bamboozled by this class and were ever grateful when we completed it. I managed, with my last two grades or so, to pull out a B, but just barely. Now this semester, I have been forced to take yet another class with her. It is a require course by my major and of course she is the only one that teaches it, just like the previous class.

Professional Communications. This class is what is edging me out of my major. This class is what makes me want to get the hell out of this college and never turn back. This class seems so beyond my capabilities that I simply do not want to go on. I have spoken with a teacher and with other students within the class and we have come to the conclusion that what she expects out of us is beyond comparison to any of the other teachers on this campus. She prescribes a course that seems beyond comparison to anything I have ever done in my career as a student.

The ideas she expects us to grasp, and the level of intelligence she expects us to have, is something none of us have. She is talking about articles from the Smithsonian that professors and doctors who are aged and well versed in their areas of expertise like they are the last novel I read. She expects us to know these things and grasp these things that are simply too daunting for me to understand. Sure after another two years of learning and a college degree could I begin to understand what she is talking about, but not now.

Extemporaneous speaking. She will be giving me an article on Thursday afternoon from the Smithsonian or Scientific American and she expects me to give a seven minute speech on something I know nothing about except this article. Oh and I only have thirty minutes to prepare. WHAT ON GOD'S HOLY EARTH IS THAT. When will I ever, in my radio career, ever have to do something like that. On something that I know absolutely nothing about? Who does she think she is torturing us like this?

We all think she belongs at a graduate school somewhere where people understand what she is talking about, not here where minds are just beginning to grow and learn. She wants us to do things that are five-ten years above our knowledge level, and frankly I am quite tired of it. By the end of the semester she wants to give us a quote and by the time we walk up to the front of the room to have come up with a three minute speech about it. WHAT? And of course there is not enough time in class so on Friday those who could not go in class on Thursday have to go to her office and present a speech one on one to her. I do not think she should be allowed to do something like that. She has to be able to fit it in the class schedule. People have other classes, other work, and lives to be focusing on. The world does not revolve to this class and cannot bend to your will, as much as you want it to.

I have never wanted to change majors more so than ever. Seriously. Ok, I think perhaps I should get off of my soap box now and take a very deep breath and relax my mind. This is what I love doing, I love writing and talking on the radio, not being forced into some unrelenting situation where I am scared shitless and cannot see straight.

That is all for this blog post, thanks for reading as always, tell your friends to come here, and please comment so I know what you think about my writing.

Post 185 | Feel Like It

2012-01-30T00:12:00.000-06:00

It is currently 12:02am on Monday January 30th, 2012 and I feel like writing. I am not sure what about quite yet, but I am writing nonetheless.

This weekend I have been exposed to the BBC series Sherlock, or at least I think it is the BBC... Anyways, I love the Sherlock Holmes movies that Warners Bros. has released (with Robert Downey Jr.) so I thought I might as well give this a go. I have watched two episodes this weekend and so far I think I am enjoying it. See how I kind of skirted around an affirmative answer there, I am not entirely sure if I like it or not. It definitely has its moments, but I think I enjoy Downey's portrayal of Holmes better than this British man's. It's good and all I just think I enjoy WB's take on it more.

What else happened this weekend... Did a good three hours or so of homework today so that was... dreadful to say the least. I despise Professional Communication class with all my soul. So much so that I have considered changing majors just because of it. Isn't that a tad upsetting? No? You don't care? I don't expect you to, it's not like I have been writing this blog for a few years now and no one has taken any special notice...

Anytime I watch Sherlock Holmes (the movie) I carry myself different afterwards. I try to stand taller and I try to talk more, exquisitely. Oh great now I want to watch the movie...

Onto another subject, I purchased the Black Key's newest album "El Camino" and I am quite enjoying it. I have not gotten to play it as loud as instructed on the packaging, but one day I will get to. That is one of the unfortunate things about living in a dorm, I do not get to blast my music as much as I want to.

Tasha and I drove basically all the way home to go out to dinner with my family tonight, and oh boy was it good. We went to Maggiano's Little Italy, I had this beef, and their chocolate cake, oh man I am still so full and we ate almost five hours ago, a little crazy no? Oh!

I have started YouTubing, like for reals. Wait, YouTubing is an actual word now. Blogger isn't underlining it in red, oh damn what is the world coming to... But yeah, if any of you haven't seen it yet, go check it out. I am trying to be cool and stuff and humorous and it's maybe working? I have no idea, you be the judge.

Ok I am off to read more of the Steve Jobs biography and get some shut eye, I have another long week ahead of me and I am not particularly looking forward to it. Thanks for reading as always and feel free to comment! Really!

Post 184 | Thoughts

2012-01-22T18:57:00.001-06:00

Is it bad when you are afraid to share with the one you are supposed to be closest with what you are thinking? I think so...

I believe it was last Sunday when I sat down with my computer and proceeded to type a nearly two-thousand word post. It was insane and contained every little thing I was thinking about there and then. It was quite something. Then I realized it was probably not the greatest idea to go posting it in case someone should stumble upon it and not be very happy. But now I am thinking I should just post it.

There are things I am unhappy about in my relationship but no matter when I try to bring something up she just brings up that no matter what she does I only point out the bad stuff. BUT WHAT GOOD STUFF IS SHE DOING?!?!?! That is my question. I honestly don't know.

This is the part where I would ramble on and on about this but I already did that in the post I did not post so I will move on to other thoughts. This is me blatantly stating I don't know why I am at this school anymore. It's great here and the people are great here but I honestly don't know if I can handle all of the God stuff anymore. It is becoming way too much for me. She wont even talk to me about faith stuff...

And I am very confused right now and am not even sure if I believe in God anymore. I would like to, and I would like to think there is a heaven but I am not sure. If I try to bring it up to her I don't think she will care, she never really has, she just says I grew up in it more so than you so I am better than you and I can't help you understand and I don't care...

Or something like that. At least that is what I have come to expect.

AHHHHHH. Let's move on to a lighter topic. People are freaking out about the girl LEGOs that have recently be released. WHY? LEGO is acknowledging that not all girls want to play with Star Wars and guys with guns and stuff and they are releasing these sets for people who want them, not for people to get upset about. They are not cornering away boys from LEGOs they are just acknowledging some basic facts.

Get over it. If girls want girly LEGOs then TLG should release them. Seriously.

School is going alright, just rumbling along with it. I want it to be summer and to have a job again and to be making money again so I can get some stuff I want. I guess this is me acknowledging that I spend money to make myself feel better. It doesn't really help in the long run I guess but it does in the short and right now that's all I can see.

I don't know what I want out of life anymore. I really don't. Lots of internal battles right now. I am sure there are a lot of you facing them too, so if you wanna chat or anything hit me up at jneuman13@gmail.com and we can talk about stuff. Sometimes it's good to get if off of your chest. Thanks for reading whoever is out there.

Post 183 | Sophomore Year Semester 2

2012-01-09T23:09:00.004-06:00

I have no idea what to write about right now. Really, all I know is I want to write.

The second semester has begun of my sophomore year, well it really begins tomorrow with a meeting for the school newspaper at 9:20am and then classes from 10:30am-2:45pm I believe. That's 3 classes 1 hour and 15 minutes each. Shouldn't be terrible. I hope. Oh well last semester 3 of my days were crazy now they are all pretty balanced which I hope will keep me sane and not burned out every Monday/Wednesday/Friday. Here's hoping!

Classes should be better this semester, I think I am doing more of what I want to do. Like radio! THANK GOD I AM TAKING A RADIO CLASS AGAIN. I really need to get back into the station. I worked there once at the end of the semester and now I'll have classes there and I will be working there which is awesome.

I am hoping to do more with my semester. Perhaps get really good at Starcraft II? Or finally finish the Persona 4 Endurance Run on Giant Bomb? Or write more? Who knows? We will see how the semester pans out. I do hope it is better than the last one which was not that great at all. I was miserable and tired of my classes and just in a bad mood with them in general.

I am trying to be more energetic this time round and I am going to be reading more of what I want to (Steve Jobs Biography) and trying to be much more on top of everything this time. Like perhaps writing and practicing a speech like a mad man weeks before I have to so I have it down completely. That is one of many things I will be trying to stay on top of.

Break was good, thinking about it The Rocket Summer concert seems like eons ago but it was just 3 or so weeks ago which is crazy. The break was long but it seems like I was just leaving to go home. Ya know? I think you do. You two people who read. Hey if you read this you should comment on this post so I know you are out there. I mean really, or else am I just an insane man talking to myself? Or more specifically typing to myself? If that makes any kind of sense.

Oh well. My Steve Jobs book and I are going to climb into bed now. Oh and Hobbes will be there too. We did not get to go sledding at all this break so we are quite upset. Neither did we make any evil snowmen which is also upsetting. Ok clearly I am hitting some kind of loopy state so I should go to bed. Thanks as always for reading! If there are any of you.

Post 182 | Some HP Thoughts

2012-01-03T12:29:00.001-06:00

I was perusing my tumblr dash and saw some Harry Potter posts, one of them pertaining to a particular Slytherin. I started thinking about it and about the story as a whole and I know that it is just fiction and a fantasy tale but if it is not perhaps the greatest story written in modern times, perhaps ever, then I am not sure what is.

Simply thinking about Severus Snape and how I absolutely loathed him for having killed Dumbledore and for being such a dick to Harry over the years I just could not understand how he could be so mean. In Order of the Phoenix seeing one of his worst memories obviously led on to the fact that he was obviously picked on a lot, but I think at some point a grown man just matures and gets over it.

But Jo Rowling wrote it so well that until that very chapter, The Prince’s Tale I had no idea. None whatsoever. After I read that chapter I literally put the book down and walked out of the room shaking. My mom wanted to know what was wrong with me and I was simply speechless. Jo Rowling wrote this truly amazing love story in one chapter. Better than any love story I have ever seen or read.

This one man loved Lily so much that he was willing to risk his life to protect her son until the very end. He is an incredibly tortured character and I just cannot get over how amazing that story is.

As I look over my right shoulder to my Harry Potter shelf I cannot help but feel incredibly greatful to Ms. Rowling. She created this world for so many of us to escape into while our lives were perhaps rough or we were misunderstood. For so many years I could read those books and imagine exactly what the world looked like and what going to Hogwarts would be like.

I am 19, and I am still waiting for my letter to arrive.

Post 181 | A Year in Review

2012-01-01T17:09:00.002-06:00

So last night/this morning whatever you want to call it 2011 reached its close. It is over, done and done. But what the hell happened in that year? It's weird to think that a year has gone by since well, a year ago. We have now entered 2012 and for a lot of people they believe it is the end of the world come next December, I do not believe that simply because, well, I don't. So what happened in 2011? Let's see if I can recall...

Well I remember LittleBigPlanet 2 came out at the beginning of the year. So did Killzone 3. My original PS3 died (RIP) and I got a new one for my birthday. Oh yeah I turned 19! I finally really opened to the guys on my floor and are becoming better and better friends with them this school year. Oh right my Freshman year of college ended that was crazy! And I finished my third semester, well enough in my opinion. Became better friends with a Rebecca I met in band (she's awesome btw), and attempted to open up more to my girlfriend, and get her to open up as well (which did not go so well...).

I guess I should take a moment and reflect on my relationship with Tasha eh? We have been dating for 2 years and 3 months or something like that, which is a long ass time. I think it was a weird year for us. We kind of peeked before 2011 began and things have been strange-ish since summer 2011. I dunno, but I love her (at least what I believe to be love) and am not sure if I want to end things because of the weirdness which is odd for me to admit really. I think she loves me but at the same time I sort of feel taken advantage of. I half feel like she does not fully appreciate all I do for her, or who I am, or what I want from the relationship. Which makes me feel like a failure at the relationship but I do not know if it is my fault or hers or what. But I think I am thinking way too much about it and I think I want to keep it going and see what happens.

If things end, they end, and that will be sad but I think I have come to terms with the fact that I would be ok if they do end. It will suck, really bad. I'll probably be depressed for a few weeks, if not months, but in the long run I think I would be ok. We shall see, I don't think I would ever have the, sorry for the phrase, balls to break up with her, I think it would have to come from her end. Which is also odd to admit, but I think it is good for me to do. Makes me realize I rely too much on this relationship and need to rely less on it and maybe things will balance out.

ANYWAYS, what else happened? Oh I worked all summer, that was a snooze fest but definitely appreciated because, well, I got a car. Not just any car mind you, a Jeep. Which I have always wanted. I also built some LEGOs, played video games, got better at Starcraft 2, exercised a little more, got a fish, petted my dog, hung out in Chicago, became the online editor for my school newspaper and a board op for my school radio station, read some books, watched A LOT of television shows...

Oh let's stop for a moment on the books thing and talk about Harry Potter. HOLY HELL DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II WAS AMAZING!!! I mean really, if you are a HP fan and disliked that movie, or a movie goer and disliked that film, something is seriously wrong with you. I saw it on a film critic's top 10 list at number 4 for the year. It was so amazing and fantastic and ugh, now I want to watch it again. We did the whole midnight premier thing and it was so awesome with all of those people, and I cried during it and ahhhhh. Yeah, ok, geek moment complete. Harry Potter will always be amazing and always be a HUGE part of my life. It is really sad that it ended and Jo's speech at the premier was beautiful and just the perfect way to say goodbye to those films and what all of that was. Oh and Pottermore, which I can't wait to be open for everyone and start getting more books in there!

Ok, what else... I stayed up 24 hours for the first time ever, that was fun! There was a bit of tension in the air for two reasons: 1. Three of my friends had to rush home to take care of another friend in crisis and 2. Two people kind of tried to take over what was happening and that kind of put a damper on some of my other friends and that was very unfortunate. But it was still amazing and awesome and I want to do it again and hopefully have people stay the whole time and stay up the whole time and ah ok.

I think it was a year just like any year. My life keeps on rolling on and being pretty good for the most part. There are some things I wouldn't mind experiencing this year, and some things I wouldn't mind changing this year, and some things that I just want to keep the same, but I don't want to say this is going to be the best year ever like some crazy people, because I have a lot of years left (hopefully) and I want this to be just as good as the rest of them.

Ok whoever is reading this, stay awesome and I hope you have an awesome start to 2012. Thanks for reading.

Post 180 | Winter Break

2011-12-18T12:38:00.000-06:00

Well the semester is finally over. FINALLY OVER. Ah thank the lord! This semester was especially difficult and tough and just ahhhhhhh. But YES it is over. Now we have three weeks off and they are going to be wonderful.

I will be going to see Sherlock Holmes sometime this week, (hopefully) lots of time with Tasha, Christmastime, a 24 Hour long Party/Shindig/Extravaganza, New Year's, and lots and lots of sleep and relaxation. I am going to take as full advantage of this as possible.

Video games, video games, video games. I've already leveled up three times in Uncharted 3 and once in Resistance 3 and came close to another leve in Killzone 3, I am just trying to catch up on playing online. The internet at school is just so terrible that playing online is absolutely terrible.

I thought I was going to have a lot to write nut I really don't after all. Huh, oh well. Enjoy your break you college kids and enjoy the holidays!

Post 179 | F-ing Republicans

2011-12-12T23:36:00.002-06:00

Ok, I have no other outlet for this so I am using my blog because I don't feel entirely comfortable posting it on twitter or Facebook...

FUCKING REPUBLICANS MAN. My roommate and one of my best friends are Republicans but HOW IN HELL CAN THEY SUPPORT THESE CANDIDATES WHEN THEY REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GAYS ARE PEOPLE TOO. GOD DAMN.

They say they are God loving people, and believe in rights and blah blah blah, but one of Jesus's biggest IF NOT BIGGEST statement is to LOVE EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT! If they are Christians they would not have a problem with LGBT people serving in the military, or getting married, or having families. It just really pisses me off how people get behind these candidates but refuse to acknowledge that there is this group of people (who are awesome by the way) that, if a Republican is elected president again, will be treated as second class citizens.

I am having a lot of problems with these people right now. I have been watching videos of Republican candidates talking to gay people or about gay people and it really irks me, can you tell? Like this one for instance...

How can people in this country stand for this? Blowing off people who are people just like you and me? I mean really. Besides no matter who we elect there are going to be problems. People are blaming everything on Obama but face it, with a Democrat in office and a house/senate controlled by Republicans nothing is going to get done, and it would be the same thing if McCain had been elected president. IT GOES BOTH WAYS PEOPLE.

I may not be an expert on such things but this is what I have come to observe. I really wish I had a better outlet for this so more people could know what I think. I have another rant I can completely go on about but I will save that for another post. Thanks for reading, sorry if my language offends you but... "Living where there's free speech means sometimes you get offended" - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Post 178 | One More Week

2011-12-11T13:22:00.001-06:00

Ok here it is, the last week of the first semester of my sophomore year of college is upon us. One more week that consists of...

Monday: 4 Classes, 2 Papers to turn in, 1 test

Tuesday: 1 Class, 1 Piano lesson

Wednesday: 2 Tests

Thursday: Nothing

Friday: 1 Test, 1 Presentation

I can do this. It is going to be a little crazy, but hopefully it will all fly by and this hell of a semester will finally be behind me. It has had its ups and downs, mostly downs. Not personally really just class-wise. It was really rough and not that much fun and a lot of busy work that seemed pointless and a hassel to me. Hopefully next semester will be better and I will actually learn more.

That isn't to say I didn't learn anything, I did, I just feel like I did not, you know? No? Oh well, I guess it makes sense in my head and that is what is important. I feel like I am forgetting something on that list up there. I just finished the second paper I had to do so that gets that out of the way. I have to study for that test tomorrow which is going to be a thorn in my side. What teacher gives a test and then a final in the same week? One is on a few chapter and then the final is cumulative? INSANITY I TELL YOU. My girlfriend's spanish teacher is doing the same thing to her which is most unfortunate.

We are going to Chicago on Friday after we drop all of our stuff off at home. My girlfriend and other friend love The Rocket Summer so we are going to his concert Friday night. Should be fun I guess. I am more excited for break than the concert. I'll just be chilling and listening to decent music the whole time. My guess is there will be another guy like me who just brought their crazed girlfriend so maybe I'll chat with him haha.

Oh finals week, how I loathe you. I am at home right now, there was a LEGO train show in town this weekend that I wanted to go to so we came home for that and I cleaned my room and made it Christmassy for when I officially come home so I have an easier time unpacking all the stuff I am bringing back. There's a good chunk of stuff. The only thing I am bouncing between is my desk chair, I love that thing and hate not having it at home and I can take it apart so the only thing stopping is the slight hassel. Oh well, we shall see.

Wow I am talking a lot about me lately which I guess is what blogs are for? Maybe? Well I think that is enough of me talking for today, thanks as always for reading and I will write more probably after this insane week is over.

Post 177 | One of Those Days

2011-12-04T17:28:00.001-06:00

So today right? I mean Sundays right? I mean one of those days where you do not want to get anything done and you know you have some stuff to get done, or at least should get a jump on, but you wind up only doing some of it because you are tired of the work and have no idea what to do with yourself other than that? You know those days?

Today is one of those days. I have gotten some of my work done, but then I try and play a video game and get bored very quickly, try to watch something on the internet and get bored very quickly just aaaaaahhhh. It's frustrating but whatever. Everyone has these days.

It's going to be like 10 tonight and I am finally going to have energy to do something and not have the time to do it because, well, I need sleep. I like sleep. I guess I could try and finish Blue Like Jazz right now, I am basically done just three chapters left but again, no motivation whatsoever.

Oh well. It's official by the way, I am the new Online Editor for the school newspaper. It really isn't that big of a deal I basically just put stories from the paper up online and make sure the website keeps chugging along. I will probably be meeting with my boss and the teacher advising the whole thing sometime this week to go over a mass of ideas and such. I have to research some advertising things and we also may be creating a Twitter and there's a whole bunch of stuff. Plus I get paid at the end of the semester so that is great.

I also worked at the school radio station Friday night, boy was that an experience. After doing it once I now know what to do all the time and it makes me much less frightened to do it again. I actually look forward to doing it because it gets me money and some experience operating a board, which is something I enjoy doing. I just have to get my timing down right and such and I should be able to make some money here and there at the beginning of the next semester just fine.

Well I guess that is all I really wanted to talk about today. My girlfriend and her roommate are going to a building party so I do not have my usual dinner mates. I have been left to fend for myself. Oatmeal it is! So, thanks as always for reading and this is me trying to post more often so, keep an eye out for more posts in the future!

Post 176 | Think Positive

2011-11-30T23:07:00.001-06:00

Hell I am almost there. Less than three weeks left and this hell of a semester is done. It has been kicking my butt hardcore and I am so tired of it I just want to walk up to my various teachers and throw the respective books for those classes in their faces. That may sound a little violent, but hey, that's what it feels like to be a college kid.

Life has been good, there was a rough week or two in there somewhere but I decided to be happy instead of pissed of all the time at the little things in my relationship, and guess what? It worked! I believe my girlfriend and I are as happy as ever right now, and why we are no longer in the "honeymoon" phase anymore, I am quite happy with where things are.

Let's see what else... Indeed school is crazy and hurts my head on a daily basis but like I said before, I am almost done with this semester then I will have a much needed break. I am going to begin working at the campus radio station more regularly now, which is good because I need the money. I also go in tomorrow morning-ish to see what responsibilities are included in being the online editor for the school newspaper.

Getting involved right? I don't have band anymore and these are both things I am interested in. Very much so. I like the idea of posting the news stories on the internet simply because it is the most interesting form of media to be involved with right now. With the evolution of HTML-5 and websites becoming more and more interesting and easy to use and f-ing fantastic, it only makes sense that our school's newspaper explore what kind of presence it can make for itself online.

Oh but this radio gig, I think the first time is going to be the scariest, I am just so unsure of myself but I think I can do it, and if I have any problems the guy said I could call him, he is only two minutes away, which is great. My only concern right now is getting into the building on Friday night haha.

I always say I am going to write in here more but I never do, I have been way to concerned with taking care of myself and getting my life on a good path and just trying to have a great time and try not to look down on the little things too much. I know I am looking down on the rest of the semester, but give me a break on that one? I am beyond tired of this semester.

I am going to Chicago on Saturday with my class and we have to spend upwards of 30 bucks. I MEAN WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? Having to spend more money after the book and paying for the class itself paying even more money to do something is just dumb. Making us take the train downtown, and the EL and the bus and a taxi? Are you kidding? I don't have that kind of money to just throw around. BLARG.

On top of it all I got sick tonight, not a cold sick, but a bad stomach ache sick and that was most unpleasant, hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

I just thought of something negative I could say about my girlfriend, but I chose to ignore it in my head and think of the positives instead, it made me smile, which is good! People should be smiling more and frowning less. Think of the positive! We don't have the power to change the entire world anyway we want and we should really just live with what we are given and deal with it and make the best out of it instead of trying to change everything to suit our exact needs.

I can say all this and still only slightly believe in God right? Ok cool. I am reading this really good book Blue Like Jazz and am really digging it, you guys should check it out whether you are religious or not, it's quite funny and even thought it is about a guy believing in God, or his path to God, it is really interesting to read about and study.

Ok I think that is enough of me on my pedestal for one night, I should probably catch some shut-eye, not too long of a day tomorrow, but a lot of homework to get done for College Writing II and Persuasion and Media Influence (the second of which is the Chicago trip). Thanks for reading guys, I really appreciate it. Talk to you guys later!

Post 175 | Uncharted 3

2011-11-08T21:28:00.001-06:00

So I wrote this review of Uncharted 3, and I gave it 5 out 5 stars on giantbomb.com I thought I could post it here so maybe some other peeps could read it. Enjoy!

Going into Uncharted 3 one could say I was more than a little bit excited. After Uncharted 2 I was more than ready for more globe trotting, train hopping, ass kicking action than ever. Among Thieves set such a high precedent for what could follow that I honestly wondered if they could live up to their own standards. I loved Uncharted 2 so much, and played the hell out of the multiplayer that I enjoyed so much, that every other video game that year fell to the waste side. Uncharted 3 was an instant buy for me, no matter if it lived up to the expectations or not, and I am pleased to report it just about did.

First off Uncharted 3 is an amazing game, and it is easily my choice for game of the year, and the one I hope wins in deliberations this year, but it is a game that is also flawed. I wanted to fly through the game just like a movie, so much so that I wound up moving the difficulty level down. I am not inherently bad at video games, but I would rather enjoy the story than face a serious challenge. I would say it helped the experience a little being able to gun down enemies a little easier and not failing as frequently.

There were a few moments sparatclly through the game where I found myself up against a wall and unable to pass it. I would do what the game wanted me to do, but I would just fall. This happened specifically in the Syria level while I was climbing a tower. I was swinging a chain to and from and jumped the way they wanted me to but it took me a good ten tries to finally get to that spot they wanted me to. It was quite fist shankingly frustrating but once I got past it and moved on I got distracted by the awesome the game was.

Other than that the only other things I had difficulty with were after the large battle among the wreckage of the boats I was unsure where to go and had to look around for a good ten minutes and the shadow puzzle. These three flaws that may have only appeared in my game put a damper on the experience a little but did not stop me from having a great time at all.

Now I mentioned earlier that it "just about" reached my expectations. Much like Uncharted 2, Drake's Deception had its set pieces and crazy moments, but I remember being much more "wowed" while playing Among Thieves. Whether it was riding a train for multiple levels, or jumping through a falling building, or climbing up a train that is falling over the side of a cliff, Uncharted 2 was simply amazing, and while some of those "wow"s are in U3 as well, U2 just did them better.

But Uncharted 3 shines in a different light and what I believe makes it the game of the year is the story, and how well it is integrated into a video game. This game's story is something to behold, with character development, and heart renching moments, and a flash back to boot, I enjoyed it and was on edge the entire time. A moment within one of the final chapters of the game had me yelling at my television and got my roommate quite concerned. I could sit here and type about the gunplay, or the AI, or the traversal, and animations, but the shining light of this game is really the story. It really feels like you are reading a page turner, or watching a relentless movie.

Uncharted 3 has its flaws, if you diverge from what they want you to do you will break the flow of action, or if you die the same will happen. But falling out of a f-ing airplane, hallucinating, and the sheer level of detail and graphical design easily outweigh any negatives that could come out of this game. Uncharted 3 was an amazing experience, and I will be diving into this multiplayer more so than any other game I have bought this year.

Post 174 | Hello Blog

2011-10-14T00:18:00.002-05:00

Hello blog, how are you? You been ok without me? I know I have been neglecting you lately but I have good reasons!

Things around school have just been insane. Three research papers. THREE. That's a lot of sources, and I hate research papers. I really, really do. I am not that great at them and I would rather just write all my own opinions based on my experiences than try and incorporate sources. BLARG.

My relationship with my girl has been good. We had a very good fall break. Other than that not much to talk about. Something seems a little weird to me today that I realized but I don't want to make something out of it unless I confirm for a fact that something is there to worry about.

My peeps at home are ok. Every time I go home there seems to be a lot of fighting which is unfortunate but what else is new really. I think the house being under construction for so long is finally hitting everyone bad. Scaffolding in the great room for months now is just ridiculous on something that should have taken my dad a week, two tops. I can't help because I am at school but I would have killed him by now.

It's really sad about Steve Jobs. Really really sad. He was such a visionary and even if he was a jerk once and a while he knew how to run a business and run it well. He had incredibly visions of where he wanted his company to go and that's where it went. I love iOS 5 and my iPhone 4. It's all great. Oh and my MacBook Pro, can't forget Marv, he is awesome.

House is pretty great this season so far. I love House and Wilson together. Weird without Cuddy and I hate Foreman for being in charge but I have always hated Foreman so we shall see where this season leads us and hopefully it is not the last! That would be most disappointing!

Well, I should go to sleep now, 8:30am class. Goodnight blog, I apologize I have been gone for so long, I will talk to you soon, I promise.

Post 173 | I Feel Like Writing

2011-09-27T00:04:00.000-05:00

With my feet up and leaning back in my comfy desk chair I have decided I feel like writing. It happens once and a while where suddenly I just feel like writing something but I do not know what. I drew this random guy in my moleskin notebook today so maybe I could write about him. I also drew the Deathly Hallows symbol so I clearly have Harry Potter on the mind. I also have been looking up Daniel Farady today. Gotta love LOST. So maybe combine those three in some ridiculous fashion? It would be kind of ridiculous but I guess that is what makes some stories great, just being ridiculous and parodies are good. I am also rewatching Season 1 of House so you could say I am addicted. Let's try and combine some of these things.

"You cannot conquer death." A raspy yet wise voice said out of a dark corner. "You have not reached that point, how would you know?" Questioned a man in a white shirt and black tie his eyes wide, leaning slightly towards the corner where the voice traveled from. "I have seen things, unbelievable things. People die. Death comes knocking and wisps someone away without caring." He replied his voice soft and understanding. "I have done years of research and I have discovered three objects that could possibly prove you wrong!" Said the other, becoming more and more excited. He withdrew from his pocked a small stone and out of his bag a slender branch and a large... blanket.

"You'll have to excuse my son, he is a little obsessed with some things." Said a balding man from a chair next to a hospital. "It is obviously a symptom of whatever he has." "Could be," replied House, "He could aslo just be crazy, check with some psychiatrists then get back to me.

MAGICAL TIME TRAVEL FROM LOST

"So?" Asked House. "He's just crazy." "Awesome, let him live with his Harry Potter references, he'll be happy and maybe he will even defeat Voldemort before he has a chance to kill all those innocent muggles. Bye bye."

Ok the end. Blarg not that great. Oh well, I'm tired. I should sleep. But I'll read then sleep then wake up for a 10:30 class and a 1 o'clock piano lesson. Thanks for reading!

Post 172 | Interesting

2011-09-22T00:27:00.001-05:00

Oh man am I grateful for the chance to sleep in tomorrow. No class until 10:30am and that is great. Then I figure I will practice piano for a while and that will be good fun. I am trying to practice more and significantly improve my playing significantly. Did I use a word twice there? Oops, my bad. Oh well, I will leave it in there for the sake of possibly maybe a small likelihood of someone laughing at it maybe.

So how are all of or none of you today? Good? I hope things are going well for you in your life. Mine is going fairly well. We had this thing at school this week called Revival. If you are Nazarene you knows what it is. It weirds me out a little and makes me think way too much. I still go to it most of the time but still, freaky. I mean experiencing God is supposed to happen naturally and this always seems kind of sort of forced in a way. There is almost a group mindset to it that the preacher feeds off of. They use one person being "touched" and then more and more people go up or stand up or raise their hands in praise. Sure it could be God actually working through these people but I almost think it is more of state of mind than a God thing.

Of course I am not one to talk particularly about this. I had a total system reset where my mind no longer things what I thought it thought. Instead it and I are now battling on what to think about the whole God and Christ thing. I almost called it nonsense but it isn't nonsense. I am someone who has to think in a very critical way. I need to think things all the way through and in a way really get what is supporting those ideas. I specifically like it to be facts. I like to have arguments based on fact rather than theory. People could claim that all of this God stuff is mostly theory. I am considering really studying all of the history behind it and such but who knows if I actually will. I should...

Any who on a lighter note Tasha and I just finished Season 7 of House M.D. AHHHH I LOVE THAT SHOW. I got addicted to it this summer and I cannot get enough. I am super excited for Season 8 to start so I can soak up more and see what happens next. Some people did not like Season 7 at all but I quite enjoyed it. Season 5, 6, and 7 have been particularly good. The show is really hitting the ground and running full steam ahead in my opinion. I am planning on being House for Halloween which shall be totally awesome.

I think that is all for now. Nothing else comes to mind that I am desperate to write about. See this is me trying to write more on this. Oh I am canceling my Netflix account. They are being very stupid. The end. I miss Harry Potter and Lost and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Ok that is all, goodnight, Soupy twist.

Post 171 | College Year Two

2011-09-13T17:14:00.000-05:00

Obviously college has completely taken over my life. After my last post over a month ago things kicked into high gear. My summer job ended, I bought myself a car (Jeep Cherokee 1997) and moved back to school. This year is going... ok so far. I can definitely tell I am getting deeper into college because there is more work to be done and this ever looming feeling that I am forgetting something or should be doing something. I just keep rolling with it and doing my best the way I want to do it. I usually work better later at night which is strange but true. From like 9:30pm-11pm is my prime working time. Just the way I operate.

Classes are more challenging than last year already, research needs to be done, papers need to be written, books need to be read. Speaking of reading books I recently picked myself up a copy of the official House guide and am reading that at the moment as well. I went home this weekend and came back with a clip lamp for my bed so I can finally read in bed with decent light.

Other than that life is rolling along. My family is as crazy as ever and Tasha and I are doing well. I am in a journalism class this semester and I might be posting my writings from there. Also I want to start commentating on what is happening in the world more, my roommate this year is a crazy ass republican and I sometimes can't stand it. Why can't I stand it? Because he only reads the blogs and articles promoting his party so he doesn't see the positives from the democratic side, only the negatives. I know it is basically impossible to find an unbiased blog about politics but could he at least try? I mean really... Obama is doing well for what he has been put up against. A house full of Republics that wont pass anything he wants to get through to make this country a better place.

Now to step off of my soap box... Ok, what else... Oh the 10th anniversary of 9/11 happened. I remember that when it happened which is really weird to think about. Time is flying like an arrow more than ever. Anything else... Not that I can think of at the moment. Oh!

BUY RESISTANCE 3 IF YOU HAVE A PS3!!!

Seriously, it's awesome and I am not just saying that because I love Insomniac Games, ok, well kind of, but still it is an awesome game and all of you should play it. I think that it is all for today, hopefully I will be writing more now that stuff is actually going on. TTFN!

Post 170 | What?

2011-08-03T11:12:00.002-05:00

I have had absolutely nothing to write about since Harry Potter ended. Nothing has really happened that is incredibly exciting or entertaining. I have seen Harry Potter again and I got into Pottermore on day 3 of the Magical Quill challenge. But that's about it. Otherwise I have been working and working some more.

I cannot believe we are already in August. This summer has just flown by way too fast. 4 months of work work work I guess would do that to it. It's been a pretty chill summer. Not terribly boring. At the end of it the highlight will probably have been seeing Harry Potter and going to my friend's cabin. Hopefully we'll hit up the zoo before the summer is over though. That would be fun.

But yeah I thought it would be nice to post so it didin't appear like I had completely disappeared. I update my Tumblr more because I feel better about just posting little things there. This seems like the place for more writing that little updates. That's what my Twitter is for as well. Man I am just covering every angle possible of this internet thing eh? Oh well, we shall see how the rest of the summer goes. Thanks for checking in, when I am back at school I should probably have more to write about and that happens in about a month.

Post 169 | Post Potter Depression

2011-07-18T16:51:00.004-05:00

So welcome to a new time in the world. The time where the Potter movies are done. That is it, no more. It is kind of weird to think about. Of course the real Potter world ended 4 years ago now when the last book came out but we always had these movies to hold onto before it really ended. But now it is really over.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was amazing. I mean really, really, really amazing. Of course there were things here and there that I would have preferred a different way but overall it was more that I could have asked for. It hit all the right spots and even got me to cry. It was just such a good movie.

After it was over I immediately said I needed to replace my favorite movie poster because HP7.2 was my new favorite movie. The more I think about it the more it seems to be true. Like I said before it had its spots I didn't like but it was such a good movie. Jo Rowling said it was the best of the lot and I have to agree with her. Of course with Jo, we still have more to hold onto...

I am talking about Pottermore of course! I am very excited to have this coming and I will happily spend months rereading the books and going along with this website soaking up each and every last detail I can about the world of Harry Potter. Jo has created such a deep and vast world that I was hoping dearly for an encyclopedia but this Pottermore project is the next best thing that fans could hope for. We could use it right about now with the movies being over and everything. Plus...

I was just watching a documentary in my Ultimate Edition of HP6 last night and Jo talked about how she was writing a new book. Not Harry Potter, but something different. Which made me happy because I love the way she writes and the amount of detail she puts into everything. Anyways, I think that is all for now. I am going to continue to experience Post Potter Depression until October when Pottermore officially releases, unless I am lucky and get in early. Thanks for reading.

Post 168 | So it isn't a bad thing?

2011-07-05T10:19:00.003-05:00

What's today? Tuesday. That's right, it's Tuesday. Tuesday the 5th of July. Holy crap it's July already? I have no idea where the hell June went. This whole job thing is making my summer fly by extra fast which is a little annoying but I guess in hindsight it's a good thing to. For the first time in my life really, I am looking forward to going back to school eventually. Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't rather be home, because I would. I love my room, my desk, my bed, the privacy; but, there is something about school and the people there that make me want to go back.

I have more friends there than here at home now and more people I like to chill with and stuff. Here at home it is my girlfriend and two other friends. Sometimes three. It just happens that way. I am honestly looking forward to starting to study again and learning more. It is strange I know, but that is what I am thinking right now. Of course...

It could have something to do with the fact that I am working now and just would rather be anywhere else but here. But who knows? School isn't a bad thing is what I have come to the conclusion too. I loved my high school, but I was never really in the mood to learn from there. I am in the mood to learn from my college though, and that is a wonderful feeling. Thanks for reading.

Oh and hi to the new reader Meg. Thanks for commenting!

Post 167 | Harry Potter

2011-07-01T10:23:00.002-05:00

GUESS WHAT?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 comes out in two weeks. By this time in two weeks we will have seen the movie, gone to iHop, probably cried our eyes out and be incredibly depressed that it is all over. I really cannot wait for this movie to get here but at the same time I am saddened by the fact that it is coming to an end. I have been with the series since before the movies. It was basically my childhood like so many other people. It is something we have been talking about and being crazy about for so many years now it is hard to imagine not seeing Dan, Rupert, and Emma on screen as our heroes anymore.

Of course there is Pottermore but that doesn't compare to the amount of love I have for this series and the movies they have made. They have done a pretty good job at translating these magical books to the screen that I do not think anything will compare to this series ever. These are movies I can watch over and over again and continually enjoy.

They have had the greatest cast possible and the only thing wrong is Richard Harris died after the second movie. Besides that all the actors have remained the same and all of the characters are wonderfully portrayed and ahhhhhhhhh. I could go on and on about my love for this series. I cannot believe the movies are almost over.

Post 166 | Pottermore Reaction

2011-06-23T10:13:00.001-05:00

To be completely honest I am kind of relieved that Pottermore is not a MMORPG. I do not think Jo is someone who would permit something like that to happen to her series willingly. The amount of unpredictability that can happen in a world like that is endless, people form their little groups and niche's and some highly inappropriate things will probably happen.

This appears to be a much more controlled and thought out idea for the continuation of Harry Potter.

In addition she has written 18,000 words, and that is only 1/3rd of everything she wants to write so far (www.the-leaky-cauldron.org) and that is basically all I wanted out of this website: more information. I love the world of Harry Potter so much, and I want to read the backstories of as many characters as possible and just suck up as much knowledge as possible.

In short, I am very happy with what Pottermore has been announced to be. Now I just have to get my email to go through.

Post 165 | tumblr

2011-06-21T14:45:00.003-05:00

Yo dawgs check out my tumblr. Don't worry, I will keep blogging here too, just a little thing so I can post quick pictures and stuff over there.

http://jneuman13.tumblr.com/

Woo!

Post 164 | House M.D.

2011-06-20T08:48:00.002-05:00

So after Lost ended there was little to no hope that I would absolutely fall for any other television show. But it has come to that point. I wasn't sure how I would feel about this show at first so I added it to my Netflix cue and after the first disc, I was caught. After the third disc, I bough the whole first season. Now I am trapped in a hole that I will not be getting out of any time soon. What can I say? The show is amazing.

Hugh Laurie does such a great job portraying this guy that it makes me never want to stop watching. Every episode is entertaining and the different characters do different things for me. Some I hate, some I love. Like Foreman. I hate Foreman.

Anyways I just wanted to let you all know that you should watch House M.D. if you need something to watch. Otherwise everything else seems good in life right now. I am pretty sick though so that isn't cool. I've gone from exhaustion to stuffy nose now to terrible cough. NOT FUN. Ok, thanks for reading, see ya on the flip side...

Ok, that did not sound as cool as I was hoping it would.

Post 163 | Pottermore

2011-06-16T10:02:00.002-05:00

Goosebumps. Excitement. Anticipation.

www.pottermore.com

Yes.

Post 162 | Eh?

2011-06-10T11:43:00.002-05:00

Well it's Friday here at work and thank God it is. This week went by pretty quickly and I am thankful for that, I am also thankful it is the weekend so I get some time to catch up on sleep and spend a little more time with the GF. Working these eight hour days is completely different from last summer when we spent loooads of time together. It is something I am getting used to and adjusting to. It is very similar to when she used to work except now I am the one working and she is the one that gets to lay around and do nothing. But she is trying to get a job, I think... Which is more than I did two summers ago. I don't think she is trying very hard though haha.

Anyways, I felt like writing today so I figured I would give this blog a go. Have I mentioned we are trying to get a Friday live show with comedy bits and topical bits and things like that. It would be fun to do, he my boss just has a lot of other projects he has to finish before we can really get cracking on this. Oh man, I'm getting hungry... Sorry I got distracted my my stomach making loud noises.

So things at work are going well, today is a very quiet day with no appointments for projectors or anything so it is pretty chill. A lot of my days here are "pretty chill." I actually bought Team Fortress 2 so I would have a FPS to play here at work while I was bored, and I am really enjoying it. I am still trying to decide what my favorite class is though... I lean towards Scout and Engineer most at the moment. Well I guess my last game I was a medic because this heavy kept asking for one.

E3 was ok this year. I guess I am looking forward to Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One, Resistance 3, and Uncharted 3 the most out of all of the games. I guess they announced Overstrike as well and that looks pretty kick ass as well. Call me an Insomniac buff, I don't care. I have just always really enjoyed their games from Spyro to now.

Well I think I am going to go get lunch now so as always thanks for reading and if there is anything you want me to talk about comment and let me know!

Post 161 | 161 Lexington

2011-06-01T13:31:00.002-05:00

The number 161 I guess is synonymous in my mind with the movie The Terminal. The entire time Victor (Tom Hanks) is stuck in an airport and he just wants to get to this adress. He winds up being stuck there for about a year if I were to guess. It is a really good movie and I highly recommend it. Anyways...

I guess you would say I am incredibly bored at work right now. I just ran two computers to two different conference rooms and now I have nothing to do for the remainder of the day. I have played a few games of StarCraft 2 here in the office a couple of times now and it just doesn't seem like something I should be doing here at work, even though I keep winning which is a good thing considering I haven't played in a long time. Well, I take that back I have won and lost about the same amount of games about 4 each for the past two days.

Other than work things are going well. I am going to try and start writing funny things so we can produce a Friday afternoon funny comedy show here, cause that would be awesome.

I do not know what else to write about. Oh, I passed 1000 page views, that's pretty cool! If you read my blog you should comment on it so I know you are reading it so I don't feel like I am just writing this for no one. That is actually really sad. I just sit here in my corner of the internet and no one reads what I write. I guess that is what a lot of the internet is. People writing and thinking and no one giving a damn. Oh well, that's life, isn't it great? Yeah it is...

Ok, thanks for reading if you are reading!

Post 160 | Anticipation is a Great Weapon

2011-05-30T22:23:00.002-05:00

Anticipation is something I deal with on a daily basis. Whether it be the anticipation of waiting for a phone call, or the anticipation of going to work the next morning, or the anticipation of whether my girlfriend will be happy today, or the anticipation of whether or not I will get home at a decent time, it just seems to rule my life and unfortunately it is something that I do not know how to control. So I have reached the following conclusion: Anticipation is a great weapon.

It is something that should be used carefully but aggressively. Hell it is used against me, not on purpose, on a daily basis and it tears be apart. I do not think anyone is even purposefully using it against me it is just something that happens all the time. So, why does it work? Well it happens to me in the following steps: Curiosity, wonder, nervousness, confusion, anger, self-loathing. I think the most powerful way to use it is to not let it get past the confusion part. No one wants to be angry or down on themselves.

So let's think of an example... Ok, waiting for the significant other to call. I think this is one of the prime examples and I am actually experiencing this right now, waiting for her to call so I can come over and we can chill together alone and quietly. Anyways this is a good tool that someone (like me) could use to their advantage. Say your significant other asks you to call them back in a little bit. Twenty minutes to a half hour is a little bit in my mind. After that thirty minutes or so their curiosity on why you haven't called has set in. Then they start to wonder and really think about what the possible reasons you have for not calling them back yet, then they become nervous thinking you forgot, or maybe don't care that much and this is when they reached the confused stage. I would say this hits at about the two hour mark. Anytime after that they become angry and then upset and it will quickly turn against you.

BUT if you call in that hour and forty five minutes to two hours and fifteen minutes after they asked you to call them back soon then you will create within them a sense of relief. You could even apologize for not calling them back right away and come up with some excuse, if you are a good liar.

This is just one way anticipation is a good weapon. If I had the brain capacity at the moment I would gladly come up with more examples but this is what I have for now. This has happened to me, but I do not think on purpose and I am thinking of using this in the future just to create a wave of relief and make her happy that I called her back. Thanks for reading.

Post 159 | Just Because

2011-05-29T12:39:00.002-05:00

Good afternoon internet, how are you today? I am doing well thank you for asking. Life is chugging along here in my neck of the woods. I continue to work 8 hour days 5 days a week so the usual 40 hour work week and it is almost killing me. I do not feel like I am on a summer vacation at all. Thankfully I have tomorrow off so that's a breath of relief. Of course we will be doing a Pancake Monday Podcast tomorrow so that shall be enjoyable because i do not get to do them on Mondays anymore because I am working. So we are trying to get together every Saturday morning but it isn't working very well. We have managed in once.

Anyways... Life is good though. The love of my life and I are still deeply in love. She seemed a little off yesterday and it was extremely frustrating, but she's a girl and girls have mood swings. She got better last night though so that was much appreciated.

The plan is with this job I should be able to buy a car towards the middle of the summer so I should probably start looking into prices and things like that. I would love to finally have my own car and not have to rely on my parents for a car to get to and from my girlfriend's house or anywhere else for that matter.

I think that is about it for now. If you haven't seen Pirates 4 you really should. I am contemplating seeing it again just for kicks. Well my pop just got back with some food so I am going to eat now, thanks for reading!

Quote for the Day

2011-05-24T00:01:00.004-05:00

"A day without laughter is a day wasted" - Charlie Chaplin

I just thought you should all know that.

Also Pirates 4 receives a...

Crap
Eh
Ok, I get it
~Yes~
Allllll riiiiiiiight

It's the one that is bolded and has squiggles. Alright, I am off to bed!

Post 157 | I am 7000 Days Old

2011-05-13T14:50:00.002-05:00

Today I am 7000 days old. I have this thing on my desktop that keeps track for me in case you were wondering how I knew that. ALSO it is Friday the 13th. My absolute favorite kind of day. For some reason... oh wait, I was born on a Friday the 13th, that would explain why I like it so much. I have been a busy bee this week. I have been working hard at my new job... and by working hard I mean hanging out my computer and burning DVDs hahaha. I work five days a week, 8 1/2 hours a day. I am very much looking forward to this weekend and getting some time to myself after the AWESOME PANCAKE MONDAY PODCAST ON SATURDAY WHICH YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH AND LISTEN TO.

That's RIGHT. PMP is BACK. All of tose capital letters should get the point across of the amazingness that PMP will bring to the internwebs this summer. I am planing on it being completely awesome and hilarious and entertaining and informative and all of that jazz. ANYWAYS, go to http://www.pancakemondaypodcast.blogspot.com/ and http://www.ustream.tv/channel/pancake-monday-podcast TOMORROW AT 11am Central Time (12pm Eastern) to see awesomeness!

Other than that not much is going on. Summer is just getting started and Tasha and I are having a pretty good time, I love being at home again and being able to use my desk. The only problem with summer so far is PSN is down! I have a PS3 and a Wii so my online options are a little limited and I would have loved to be playing Killzone 3 for the past two weeks or so. But I will live, I enjoy free stuff so I am looking forward to that! So, thanks for reading and check out PMP!

Post 156 | It's 2:07am

2011-05-07T02:06:00.002-05:00

Good evening/morning to all of you late night internet surfers like me. I have just returned from a wonderful late night at the GF's house and I just want to quickly update you all with what is going on. I am back from college year one and am now on "summer vacation" of course it shall hardly be that as I will be working the entire summer but hey, no school right? I am hoping to save up enough dough by the end of June so I can get myself a car and have a proper rest of the summer. Of course this job thing puts a damper on the Pancake Monday Podcast, but do not fret! Hopefully we will be able to do it at night on Mondays from now on.

So yeah, that's what is going on. I am back home and pretty much moved in. I love being at home because my desk kicks ass here. That and I get a room to myself hardy har har. Ok, I should probably go to bed, I told the GF that I would try and come back in the morning and that's in like eight hours. That means I need some sleepy time. Goodnight all!

Post 155 | Movie Reviews

2011-05-03T01:00:00.002-05:00

Remember when I did some reviews a while back about video games maybe? Well I have something new I am going to try. I am planning on attending a lot of movies this summer so I will be giving them a rating in this scale, from lowest to highest:

Crap
Eh
Ok, I get it
Yes
Allllll riiiiiiiight

So there you have it, my rating scale. I just watched the movie Memento and it get's an "Eh" Ocean's 11 (2001) on the other hand receives an "Allllll riiiiiight." So there you have it, watch my Twitter (on the right) for random tweets with random movie reviews and maybe I will even type up full ones. Would be a good practice of writing. Thanks for reading!

Post 154 | Return of the Quotes

2011-04-26T23:05:00.003-05:00

Every time I hear a good quote I will share it with you kind people. Here is today's:

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

That is all, have a pleasant evening.

Post 153 | Thinking

2011-04-24T17:12:00.001-05:00

What do you think? Do you think good, do you think bad? Do you think harsh, do you think polite? Do you about the fact that we have the ability to think at all? We can think about the positives and negatives of a decision? Or the fact that we have the ability to think about things to be able to make decisions?

Where does your thinking take you? Does it take you to a bad place? Bad memories? Does it take you to a far away land? Does your thinking create new and fantastic places where the word “impossible” doesn’t exist? Does your thinking lead you a scene in your life? Does that simple though define your life? Do you think about thinking?

Thinking about these thinks makes me think about my thinking. As Dr. Seuss so famously put, “Oh the things we can think.”

It is simply amazing that we have evolved (or were made, whatever you want to think) into these creatures that have the ability to comprehend the world around us and decide what is wrong and what is right. Of course some people think different things are wrong and different things are right, but I like to think most people know the difference.

Thinking is a though provoking subject to be thinking about. I am sitting here in a comfy chair of my school’s library just thinking about thinking and what I think about certain thinks. I am choosing to use the word “think” in as many different ways as possible to make this interesting but I am also thinking about the ways that it can be used. Thinking is an interesting thing… I am sitting here almost perplexed by it because my thinker cannot seem to think straight.

Being able to communicate is something we have to think about right? Communicating our thinks/thoughts/things that go on in our thinkers.

Now if you are already tired of the word “think” I suggest you stop reading this and go think about something else because I can’t think about how much farther this thought will go and there could be a lot more thinks along the way.

Any who, back to communication. Communication is something we think about on a regular basis, without really thinking about it. But it is something we should be thinking about because it allows us to do what we do in a variety of different ways and we communicate in a variety of different ways. The ability to control our think/thoughts is something truly astounding to me.

Ah, thinking. A complicated think to think about. Thinking allows us to think about our actions and the actions of other things around us that can also think. Now I am no scientist so I do not know everything that has the ability to think, but I’d like to think that those of us who can think about what we are doing and how we are doing it and what other people think about thinks. Thinking: a though provoking topic that deserves more thinks.

Post 152 | The Beat Goes On

2011-04-11T22:58:00.003-05:00

Life keeps a moving on. The end of the school year is basically here and frankly it is damn scary. There are only three more weeks of classes and we are currently within the last full week. CRAZYNESS. I feel like these next few weeks are going to be absolutely crazy. I am only here at school for one more weekend. This past weekend we went to Chicago. This coming up weekend Tasha and I are going home because she has a test she has to take. The weekend after that is a four day weekend so we will be at home for that then one more weekend the finals then SUMMER.

Summer is a weird word. It feels like yesterday that I graduated High School. Holy crap dogs. High School. Sometimes I miss it. Most of the time I don't. I do have a lot more responsibility here. Oh well. Life just keeps coming and I can't stop it.

I am registered for classes next year and this weekend will be when I am signing up for my room with my pals Cody and Luke. It should be an awesome second year of college. Lots of Starcraft II and Tron and being awesome.

I am very much looking forward to going home for many reasons. I would have to say the main reason is Tasha. Sure we go to the same school but she is much different here at school compared to when we are at home. She is much more distant here and I understand she isn't comfortable with P.D.A. so when we go home and we can be alone it's awesome. It's just a much better environment for us to be in.

I have a job lined up for this summer and I have a HUGE feeling it is going to KICK MY ASS. Sorry for the swears but I feel the need to do it. It can only truly show how I feel. I am really worried about it and scared about it. I just hope it goes well and that I can get the things I need/want this summer. The main one being a car. Yes, a car. I do not have one. I want/need one. It would be awesome to have one for the school year next year.

Ok, I guess that is all for now. I am going to go brush my teeth and climb into bed, maybe watch an episode of Futurama. Oh weeknights on GSN Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza is on WATCH IT. It is Whose Line is it Anyway but current and with more people and more commercials and less points. Ok, that's it, thanks for reading!

Post 151 | Continuing Developments

2011-03-27T22:25:00.002-05:00

Hey. Wazzup blog readers? Not much eh? Yeah me either. I mean really what is going on in my life that is so drastically important compared to the lives of others? With all the crazyness that is going on in the world it makes my life seem almost unimportant. But one must not think this way!

Every single person on the planet is important. Hold on... I need to find my four year plan... Ok found it. I feel less stressed now.

Anyways just wanted to check in. Nothing really to talk about. Just kind of thinking about going back home for summer and how my next year schedule will be and all that jazz. I just have this worry that when we go back home Tasha will start hanging out with people that I do not like at all. ERG. Just one of those frustrating things that if I talk to her about it she will get upset and angry at me.

UGH.

See what I did there? I am angry. I am really just hoping we both get jobs and this all blows over and everything will be ok in the universe. Yep.

Gunna leave it at that.

Post 150 | Where I'm Going

2011-03-18T13:34:00.003-05:00

Wow, original title, eh? I know it is not that large of a landmark to be celebrating but still, one hundred and fifty posts is kind of impressive in my opinion. I am trying really hard to blog at least once a week and have more interesting things to talk about. I would like to be able to talk to actual people about actual topics with this blog where people comment and start conversations about important things in the world.

I guess that is what this post is really about. Where I want this to go. I would love for this to become an outlet for college students (like me) to talk about prevalent issues in the world today. They do not even neccessarily have to be prevalent, just relevant. I would love for it to turn into you as the reader are asking for my opinons on everything I write about. Much like the two "As I Sit Here" posts that I really enjoyed writing.

So come one, comment. What do you want me to talk about?

Also I have been considering starting a podcast with some friends on campus, but I am not sure if that will happen yet. I have no idea what it would be about or, more specifically, what we would even talk about.

So yeah, I guess that is just a small update on what's going on with this Blog and my one hundred and fifty posts. Thanks for anyone who reads and PLEASE COMMENT. Please? I would much appreciate it. Thanks!

Spring Break

2011-03-09T20:29:00.002-06:00

We are in the middle of Spring Break and I feel like it could be a million times longer. I am really ready for the school year to be over already. I have half of a semester left and it is going to be tough. Not just school wise but feelings wise as well. There are going to be a lot of tough choices and stuff and whether or not I tell certain people things and what not. I feel like when we are on Spring Break or any kind of break that I can forget all my troubles and just relax. I need this more often. Not that it is going to happen.

It is simply really nice to get away from it all.

You know those people you simply find obnoxious? Those people that you simply cannot stand to be around? Those people that have an influence on your friend that you don't want them to? Yeah? Well one is going to be Tasha's roommate next year. Do I tell Tasha that I really do not like this girl or what? They seem like they are really good friends but I absolutely do not like her. I do not want Tasha to have to pick her friends over me again. She chose me last time but would she choose me again? I simply don't know.

It is one of those confusing things that I do not know what to do with. That is why I love spring break. I haven't had to think about this at all. I know they haven't talked at all over spring break and stuff and it has just made my life a lot simpler. Bah. Humbug. Life is too complicated sometimes. Life is good, just complicated.

Anyways that is my rant for today. Thanks for reading. Tell your friends to come read my blog! If this gets popular I could make money off of it, and I neeeeed money. Ok, thanks!

As I Sit Here #2

2011-03-03T11:09:00.004-06:00

I really enjoyed what I did in my last post so here is a second one about sitting somewhere and thinking... This was written in my notebook first...

As I sit here in Christian Formation class I realize people are stupid. Yes I am in Christian Formation; I go to a Christian school, blah blah blah. Now that we're past that let's get to what I want to talk about. People are stupid and need to get over themselves. Plain and simple. A LOT of the views on Christianity are opinion based, and it's hard for a preacher to teach a class on basic Christian ideas without inputting his opinion, it's simply unreasonable.

So why are you getting offended? I have recently heard complaints of our teacher offending people because of his views on different subjects in the Christian world. Get. Over. It. I mean really, why are you complaining about it when what you specifically believe has the possibility of offending the teacher?

If you were having a one on one conversation with someone who knows you, and your faith then you can be offending if they say something offensive to you. But he is teaching a class, it's impossible to not offend someone. It's like watching a TV show. That TV show can't attach itself to one person, or one kind of person.

Because I mentioned being in Christian Formation class let me discuss what we talked about: Speaking in tongues. Bah. Humbug. I do not believe in speaking in tongues, at all. Where's the proof that you are actually enveloped by the Holy Sprit? How do we know you're not just putting on a stage show? I mean really, would it be o hard for me to pretend? I'll look up a YouTube video of someone speaking and just copy it, claiming that t was the Holy Sprit. People cannot be trusted.

Let me say that again... PEOPLE CANNOT BE TRUSTED. See how big and prevalent I made that? People are people. We make mistakes and we "sin." It's just a mater of fact. People cannot be stopped form sinning or screwing up. Every day every person sins in some way. (This is where my notebook ends)

Ok let me clear something up. If you believe in speaking in tongues and it brings you closer to God do not let my opinion stop you. I think that is the real problem with people getting upset over opinions. Why are you getting upset about it? Shouldn't your faith be true or good enough that if someone says something else it shouldn't affect what you are thinking at all? Why are you taking it that seriously?

I like to live by the motto that opinions cannot be wrong. They are opinions. No one can tell you it is wrong because it is your opinion. My opinion is that Justin Beiber sucks. Your opinion is that he rocks. I can disagree with your opinion, but I cannot say it is wrong. Opinions and beliefs are very similar in that way. It becomes this nonsensical argument about what is right and wrong. But they only things we can say are right or wrong are those things that are based on fact.

I am a man of science and fact. For those of you LOST fans this argument should sound familiar. I need evidence that something is real, if I do not have it I freak out. This is where things get crazy. If I crashed on an island without use of my legs and I gained use back there is my evidence that something is going on that is bigger than me. But if I crash on an island and nothing outstanding happens to me I want to get the hell of off that island.

Hopefully all of these things interconnect with one another in a way that makes sense.

People are stupid. Get over yourselves and instead of getting upset and angry about it have a nice conversation with the one that offended you and just get your opinion out there.

As always thanks for reading, tell everyone about my blog, get him or her to come, comment, all that jazz. Have something you want me to talk about? Email me at xLavax@gmail.com. Thanks.

As I Sit Here

2011-02-17T23:33:00.004-06:00

As I sit here waiting for my phone to sync so I can go to bed I ponder about the universe. Close your eyes for a moment and simply feel yourself in the universe. You should feel so small that you are not but a single cell within a vast and seemingly never ending space. Look down on the earth and see the civilization or lack there of that has formed. Then look at yourself. Or more personally I am looking at myself.

Do I make a difference? Do I matter? What if there is some other earth like planet out there that has a civilization as well. Why are we the ones on this earth that have grown to be the masters of it? Ok so you believe in God? Well.. What created God?

My head begins to twist and twirl just considering the possibility that there is a higher being actually out there and perhaps a higher deity above that one. And endless amount of possibilities surround us on a daily basis and a lot of it is based around faith. Faith in and of itself is a marvelous thing. Belief in something that basically no one has any proof actually exists. Sure Jesus Christ existed but what if it was all a bunch of bologna?

Why are we here? What is our purpose in life? Is there a purpose in life? What am I doing with my life? Should I be making the most out of it? Should I wake up tomorrow morning go to class then grab my girlfriend by the hand and just go?

For some reason I feel almost meaningless at the moment. I do not know what it is. How would people's lives be without me? Would they all be miserable or, by my logic, would other events would have happened that would have made them equally as satisfied or happier with their lives?

You are a single cell in the vast space that is, well, space. Life as we know it could end tomorrow. Who knows? The world is unpredictable and ever changing.

I once had the conversation that hey, the earth came back when all those volcanoes exploded, it can take what we are throwing at it just fine. There is no such thing as global warming. There is such a thing as too much trash though. This room I am in? One day it will cease to exist and my presence here will be completely and utterly forgotten.

What is the point of doing homework? In today's society we exist to create the next little babies to keep the ball rolling. We grow up, get jobs and feed the economy. Just keep the cogs turning in the vast machine that is the world today. Continents, countries, states, cities, towns, neighborhoods. Life keeps going on and if you do not grab on and take hold it will quickly leave you behind without a care.

But what if time does care? What if it is shoving the handles into our hands and just waiting for us to squeeze? Should we squeeze? Of course we should. Grab on damnit and go for it. Want to be a musician, movie director, actor, business person, volunteer, swimmer, runner, animator, do what you want in life! If you don't you will find yourself stuck in a rut and not making most out of the time you do have. In a relationship that you actually do not like and want to get out of? Get out of it, move on, do not be held back by what you really want out of life!

Life is hard. But life is good.

Whether or not you think you were placed here by a deity's doing or whether you think you are simply here because evolution happened and here we are, make the most out of what you have and what you can do.

You are a single cell in the vast space that is space. As far as we are concerned it is never ending. Everything starts with a single cell. A single motion. A single thought. A single action. Next thing you know you have an amazing world filled with amazing things that never cease to amaze.

Life is good.

Grab the handles of time. For if you do not, it will leave you behind. Even if you are seventy years old and have yet to grasp those handels, do it. I encourage you.

Practicing what I preach will be quite the difficult thing. But hey, if I am going to do it, why not you as well? Stop wasting time's time. Go and be what you want to be and who you want to be. Do not bother with other's opinons. Smile at someone on the street. Donate some money. Build a treehouse. Lay out under the stars. Build a business. Fall in love. Create life. Live life.

Life. Is. Good.

Thanks for reading.

Silly Love Songs

2011-02-11T17:11:00.003-06:00

Well Monday is Valentine's Day and while it may seem like a waste of time to a large majority of you, it is another day in the year where I can proclaim my profound love for my girlfriend. Corny right? I know haha.

Anyways even if you don't have a special someone, take the time to tell those around you how much you love and appreciate them, even though you should be doing it any other day anyways. While I sit here contemplating whether or not to buy the Glee version of this song for Tasha or just get the Paul McCartney and the Wings version (that I prefer) off a CD in the house, I'll leave you with Paul's. Also as John Lennon would say around this halmarkiest of holidays: "All you need is love."

18 Days Later

2011-01-30T23:15:00.002-06:00

Eighteen days after my last blog post here I am! With, of course, nothing to report. Life meanders on as usual, bringing it a plethora of... well... nothing that exciting really. It was a decent day. Food was good at brunch after church today. Tasha and I are as in love as ever. We will be home the weekend before Valentine's day so that Saturday I am hoping to take her out and give her the presents I have obtained for her. This week is going to be a little insane and maddening. Band here at Olivet is quite idiotic, to be polite. How about I be more specific. Band Winter Showcase is idiotic.

[RANT]
They never give us a scheduele or let us know when we are supposed to be practicing and when they do it is about a half hour before practice is starting and I am like "Well I already have plans" and they are like "well you have to be there" and I am like "Well I can't be" and they are like "but we told you" and I am like "Yeah a minute ago." Or how about this situation "Why weren't you at practice earlier today?" "We had practice?" "Yeah-why weren't you there?" "We had practice?" "Yeah-why weren't you there?" "I didn't know about it." "Well you should have been there." Yeah that is how it goes here. It kind of sucks. I am perfectly ok with concert band because were were emailed the entire schedule for the entire semester. I am putting an emphasis on THE ENTIRE SEMESTER. So apparently we have practice from 8pm-12am every night this week. Wait, what? When did that happen? Know how many practices the choir had for their thing and it was hilarious? TWO. That's right. TWO. Apparently we suck so bad we have to practice a lot. And memorizing music for something that isn't even on the field? What bull crap is that? Everyone is a better performer when they have the music. Trust me. I KNOW. UGH. It just really sucks and is full of bull crap and yeah. At most I will get a lot of reading done because I am only in two of like 10-15 performances. And I have to be there the WHOLE time. What happens to my academics? I have a lot of stuff going on this week. A lot of research to do and all that jazz really sucks.
[/RANT]

Yep, that was quite the long rant. Basically sums up how I feel about band here sometimes. Oh well. I should be off to bed. I have an 8:30 class tomorrow morning. Woo... woo... Ok, goodnight everyone. Thanks for reading.

Back at School

2011-01-12T22:10:00.002-06:00

Hello all who bother to read this. I am back at school. That's right, my wonderful (but tooooooo short) Christmas break came to an end on Monday and now here I am, in my dorm room, just waisting time. I am actually waiting for Tasha to call after one of those dumb dorm hall meetings where they remind you of the rules and stuff, ANYWAYS, I just wanted to let you all know what was going on.

I basically have no classes on Tuesday/Thursday. Miracle, right? I know! I really don't know how I did it, but I did. So there. Being back at school is good I guess, I just miss being home. I had more freedoms at home than I do here, which is weird, but true. I could go over to Tasha's house late at night and we could cuddle in privacy and all that jazz. It was great. Nearly every night I was at her house till like 2am... if you average it. One night I accidentally fell asleep and stayed until 4am, but that's another story haha.

Break was good. Really good. Just NOT LONG ENOUGH. I wanted at least another week, at least. It would have been nice. I didn't do everything that I wanted to, but I did nearly everything. I saw TRON: Evolution which was my main goal. I saw the original Tron beforehand, don't worry. So I got all the jokes that they made in direct reference to the original one i.e. "That's a really big door." Yes, it made me laugh.

What else did I do... I played a lot of ping pong against my father and I genuinely think we are both improving. Some of our games get crazy intense with the ball spinning all over the place, diving for shots, and accidentally throwing the paddles. All in good fun of course. Saw some of my good friends that I miss while I am here. It will be nice when summer is here so I can see them on a regular basis (hopefully).

Anyways that's my life right now. Still in love. Still a little bit insane. Currently rocking out to the TRON: Legacy soundtrack which I purchased from Target this evening with a gift card I got for Christmas. Yay Christmas. Ok, thanks for reading!

End of 2010

2010-12-30T22:19:00.002-06:00

Wow. Where did the year go? Honestly, I am really asking you all that question. Where did the year go? It's gone. Long gone. Well, not long gone yet, but it is about to be gone. Twenty-four hours from now I will be sitting around with friends having a great time and getting ready to ring in the new year. 2011. Look at that number... Look at it! 2011. It's different than 2010, in case you did not know.

2010 was a pretty good year overall. Surely not one of the best but definitely great. I ended my high school career and started my college career in this year. That is crazyness in my opinion. The rest of my life is starting to form and with that comes a lot of big decisions. I don't know if anybody really reads this but I am going to be completely honest in the next paragraph of what is in my head at the moment.

Do I want to continue studies at Olivet Nazarene University? I don't know. Do I want to continue my relationship with Tasha? Yes. Am I one-hundred percent positive I want to marry Tasha? No (I am about 95% at the moment). Do I want to know what I want to do with the rest of my life? Nope. Do I love Tasha? Yes. Do I love my family? Yes. Am I interested in pursuing a possible other minor? Maybe... I was considering getting a minor in English. I suddenly have the urge to be writing... A lot. A lot of writing. I feel like people have commended me on my writing in the past and that I have been sincerely interested in writing before.

Oh well... We shall see where 2011 takes me. Maybe I will be lead to God. Maybe I will be lead to a new major. Maybe I will be lead down a completely different path than the one I am currently meandering on. Thanks for reading, tell your friends about my blog if you would. I will see you all in 2011. Goodbye 2010.

December 21st, 2010

2010-12-21T12:01:00.002-06:00

Well quite a lot has happened over the past month... Wait... It has already almost been a month since my last post? December has just flown by. I really can't believe it. School took me and shook me and then dumped me at the end of the month. I woke yesterday morning and didn't believe the date on my phone.

Anyways I am home for about three weeks for Christmas break. Thank goodness, it was time for a break. Just getting really tired of my schedule and all that jazz. My finals went very well and I am very happy with my final grades in all of my classes. Just trying to keep my GPA super high so I do not lose any of my scholarships.

Today Tasha and I are going to go out for lunch and a movie then shopping. It should be fun, it is nice to finally be able to take her out on a an actual dat(wait she texted me, haha same thing I was about to text her)e. After being stuck at school for so long, going out is a big relief.

My PS3 died... again... After the damn 3.55 update. I hate it so much. But Gophermods was kind enough to only charge me the cost of shipping to fix it again so it is currently on its way to them to be fixed. I probably wont get it back until after New Years but hey, I accept for the price I am paying. I want my poor PS3 back so I can be playing him again. Right now it is just a lot of StarCraft II. Working on getting much better at that.

Tasha and I had a very long, serious conversation about our relationship a few weeks ago now and it was what both of us needed. We both needed to be clear on what we wanted from each other and from the relationship. We cleared some things up and everything is great now. We were starting to drag a little there but now everything is great. Plus giving her presents helps haha, no just kidding, talk out your problems don't fix it with money haha.

Anyways I just wanted to post again. After Christmas break a group of us will be starting a podcast, not sure if it will still be PMP or something different perhaps. Dang I'm hungry. Ok, thanks for reading! Happy Holidays!

The Holiday Season

2010-11-30T11:45:00.003-06:00

I love the holiday season. Everyone is so happy and there are lights everywhere and... umm... presents are awesome too. So cheer up and listen to some Christmas music if you are feeling down! I have to go to math class (which I dislike greatly) but I am in a pretty good mood! Enjoy life and enjoy all the joy of the holidays. Hang some Christmas lights, put up a tree, sing a carol! Come on get into it! I am trying very hard to not let anything get me down this season no matter what so you should too. Happy-peppy-over happy Jake is BACK. Oh yeah... Maybe... Ugh... No, I'll be happy but not crazy like I used to be haha.

Just enjoy the season... I need to get some hooks for my room to put up some lights. Thanks for reading!

Thankful

2010-11-25T11:24:00.002-06:00

I am thankful for a lot of things. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

My girlfriend (A.K.A. my love)
My family
My friends
My life in general

Harry Potter

2010-11-18T13:05:00.003-06:00

I grew up on Harry Potter. Been to all but two midnight releases. Tonight I venture to the second to last Harry Potter movie. It is both thrilling and sad at the same time. It will be sad to see it end. I've been reading the books since before a movie was even thought of. I can remember getting all of them. It was just awesome. I am pumped for the movie. I am also extremely thankful that they are coming out with two, gives me a little more to hang on to. So here we go. The beginning of the end.

Because

2010-11-08T13:28:00.002-06:00

Here are some Beatles lyrics to remind you all how beautiful life is. Don't waste it.

Because the world is round it turns me on
Because the world is round...aaaaaahhhhhh

Because the wind is high it blows my mind
Because the wind is high......aaaaaaaahhhh

Love is old, love is new
Love is all, love is you

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry
Because the sky is blue.......aaaaaaaahhhh

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh....

- The Beatles "Because"

I Don't Know if I Believe

2010-10-22T21:10:00.002-05:00

So over the past few weeks or maybe months and this point I have been toiling with an issue that hits me hard in the chest. I wrote a page about this in my notebook and I guess that wasn't enough because I cannot stop thinking about it. I do not know if I believe. I do not know what has been knocking me around lately but I really don't know right now. I guess I can sum it down to three sentences.

I do not know if I believe in God.
I do believe in heaven.
I do believe in love and relationships.

Essentially that is what I have come down to. Now I know the heaven/God thing is weird but I believe there is an afterlife but I really do not know if I believe in the power of prayer and what not. I guess I am one of the few at a Christian college that are stuck in the middle.

A speaker came to chapel one time and he described four chairs. I will not go into great detail about every chair but I placed myself in the third chair at the time or the "have it, don't want it." As in I have faith but I do not want it anymore, I'm done with that. So I guess that happened. I don't really have faith anymore but now I am in chair two where I do not have it and I kind of want it. But let me emphasize the "kind of."

There is a difference between really wanting to be connected to God and maybe wanting to be connected. Am I afraid, I think so. I am afraid of what will happen if I do not make that connection. Tasha already has a great connection with him and to be frank I was really unaware of how deep that connection was until we got here. It really threw me and continues to do so. I just kind of feel out of the loop and rolling my eyes about a lot of stuff that happens here. For instance...

Tonight there was a variety show for the choir here. It was a fundraiser to raise money so they could go on a missions trip to Africa. Ok, good cause, I understand, yaddah yaddah... But when they prayed before the show I asked myself if it was really necessary. And another example is before a football game where they pre-game prayer really is "God, bless these kids while they ram really hard into each other, yell at one another, beat each other up, so they do not get hurt." Almost seems like they are just making it ok with God that they can hurt one another really.

I believe in love. I believe that Tasha and I will get married. I believe that our relationship will grow stronger and that we will always love each other. I believe that one day we will have kids. I know that she is number one in my life right now. Before anything I think of her. Always. When I get up, when I go to sleep, how she is coping with a test, what is she thinking about, does she think about me as often. Just that kind of stuff I think. And it goes beyond that obviously but really that's what it is. I love her. I know I do. And I know I always will.

Hold on... I had one of those moments where I typed like crazy and I still am. Umm... I can't think of the word. But I will say this.

I know I believe.
But I question why and for what reasons.

Home

2010-10-09T21:02:00.000-05:00

I love being home. It's just so awesome. I am extremely tired and feel sick but I don't care I will stay up super late until I get to go over to Tasha's tonight and chill and just have a good time.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

2010-10-02T21:18:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I should be checked into a mental hospital.

Honestly read this book. I am 3/4ths through it and it is awesome.

Oh That's Right

2010-09-22T17:22:00.003-05:00

Oh that's right, this blog exists. I keep forgetting. So much for a post every day eh? College life is just keeping my really busy and crazy and stuff. So much going through my head these days too that simply writing a blog post is becoming hard to do without being distracted. I am incredibly tired is about the sum of my college experience so far. I am going home this weekend so hopefully I can rest up a little and try and really relax. Hopefully with Tasha a little too. Umm... Let's see...

Remember at the beginning of the year (check an early post in January) where I talked about Jesus. Well that's a lot of what this school is about. BUT... and here is the big but. I am finding myself so overloaded with it all that I am pushing it away. Like really trying to just shove it away from myself all the time. I honestly don't know what to do. Every time I am sitting in church or in chapel or something I find myself scared to be there and I just don't know what think about any of it anymore. I guess I have never been surrounded with so many people that all believe in Him and I am finding it very hard to be myself. I am so used to there being doubters everywhere and I loved them for it!

Which is weird to say but I really love the people who don't believe. I highly recommend the book "Me of Little Faith" by Lewis Black for this reason. His comedic views on religion are hilarious. Let me say that again HIlarious. Yep, bolded and all. It's one of the reasons I am most looking to going home. Getting a break from all of this will be incredibly relieving and may even help me with my beliefs. I would like to say I believe in Him and I think I do but I think all of these people being so encompassed by the "Holy Spirit" is completely throwing me off.

This is a Nazarene school. Nazarene is a denomination in case you were wondering. I come from a solid Lutheran background so this is COMPLETELY different for me. People close their eyes, smile, bob, raise there hands, move, and more to the music and that really throws me off. I am used to standing still and singing hymns. These contemporary stuff is really throwing me off. And I knew about it before I came here but I guess I was not prepared for the sheer amount of everything that happens here that is so God like.

I guess this is me typing this out to try and understand what I am thinking better. I am hoping to talk about this more with Tasha at the end of this weekend. Thanks for reading as always.

Top 10

2010-09-12T21:16:00.002-05:00

So I was chilling in my room last night just thinking about stuff and I thought it would be quite the interesting thing to do to create a "top 10 things I hate about my college" list. Now you must be wondering to yourself "What?!?! He's only been there a week!" But trust me no matter where you decide to go you will always find things to hate...

And now, David Letterman style...

The Top 10 Things I Hate About ONU

#10: My roommate's dishes have been dirty for a week!
#9: A week after I got here my PS3 broke
#8: The colors are Purple and Gold... PURPLE
#7: To get from my radio class to my english class requires serious speed walking
#6: Marching Band... 'nough said
#5: The food
#4: Did I mention Marching Band?
#3: Can't cuddle with my girlfriend regularly
#2: Can't openly kiss my girlfriend
#1: Can't go to my girlfriend's dorm

Tomorrow

2010-09-04T22:37:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is a very special day in my life. A very special day indeed.

Thinking

2010-09-01T21:44:00.003-05:00

I am an over-thinker. I really am. I over think everything and worry about everything. With the realization that college is beginning and stuff that is out of my normal bubble is occurring I just don't know what to do. I am being thrown for a loop like a crazy man. I had my routines down and now they are gone and it is confusing the hell out of me. I really don't know what to do. Everything seems off and nothing seems right. My mom and I were texting and I started crying. All of a sudden Tasha is doing a lot more with a bunch of other people and it is really scaring me. It's what she wants so I have to get used to it and I just... I just... I don't know... She has seemed really distant lately and I know and she said it's because of all the stuff that is happening. But I think after we talked about it she realized what was going on in my head and she cuddled closer.

Sometimes I am just crazy. And sometimes life is really hard. And I think it is both of those right now. I am just completely overwhelmed. And some people may see what I am thinking as not that big of a deal or something but in my mind it is. I am not good with change. I really am not. It freaks me out completely. I am just really scared of what college is going to bring. I don't think I am scared of Tasha and I because I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just have to get through these next four years so I can provide for us. Four years seems like a really long time right now... And I am scared.

Thanks for reading.

So it Really Begins

2010-09-01T11:26:00.002-05:00

College officially starts today. My first class is about a half hour. I would be in one right now but it was cancelled. Oh well... I feel off about everything right now. Hopefully as soon as classes start and I start rolling along with everything it will all work out. If not I don't know. I just am very uncertain about my college life right now. I know it sounds strange and weird but I really am.

I love Tasha and I know that much. I want to marry her and be with her for the rest of my life. I just wish the rest of my life could begin without $30,000 a semester. We shall see... If I get out this year and realize I really can't pay for this in the long run I may have to switch to community college. Then things get complicated.

It probably ins't a good thing that I am going into this with this though process but I have worst case scenario syndrome. And I would like to talk to Tasha more about how she is liking it here and stuff. She is scared. That much is obvious and we are both freaking out about classes and stuff. I just want to be with her as much as possible. For some reason I feel like I am going to lose her everyday. I guess I have to get past that somehow.

I wish we had constant texting, that would probably make me feel better. Constant contact is very nice. I hate that she lost her job. I really do. She has lost so much because of it. But we will get through this. I think we are both done this afternoon so I'm gunna see if she wants to hang and apply for jobs and stuff and maybe go print some stuff out and figure out how all that works. So thanks for reading.

It's Better Now

2010-08-29T13:58:00.002-05:00

Tasha and Ian are here. Life is much better now. Hopefully things will get better and this place will start to feel more like home. And hopefully classes will work out and all that jazz. If not, I would have to find another college. Which would stink. Classes start on Wednesday and then college really starts... yay...

Sorry for not posting on a regular basis things have just been crazy here. Hopefully now that band camp is over life will feel more normal. Right now I am in freak out mode. I still have an assignment to do and books to buy... Yay...

Green Yellow and Red

2010-08-23T12:54:00.002-05:00

These are the three dreaded colors of PS3 users. And surely enough they happened to me yesterday. I was watching Studio 60 and organizing some cables when it happened. Now it sits there looking sad. I will probably be sending it in to be repaired because that is the cheapest option by far. Thank you PS3 for being awesome for so many years. But shame on you for breaking on me. It is an 80GB original one.

LOST

2010-08-20T07:22:00.000-05:00

I am working on a LOST post so yeah.

Deal

2010-08-18T22:45:00.002-05:00

Ok, so yeah. Another day has gone by. Band Camp trudges on. I am finding some people to be a little bitchy about little things. It's like "calm down" and just relax. Anyways, people need to relax and deal with what is handed to them. Like me for instance. Pit this year I thought was going to be extremely challenging. And in some ways it has been and it probably will be but so far most of it has been really easy and boring as hell. Hopefully it will pick up soon so yeah. Ok, I'm off to bed. Thanks for reading.

125

2010-08-17T23:13:00.001-05:00

Post 125 here, just missing home really today. Want to see my girlfriend really bad. So yeah. Band camp trudges on we finally got out music today even though we didn't go over it a lot. It seems a little easier then I thought it would be. But then again it is only the first tune. Ok all, thanks for reading! Hopefully I time these better in the future so I have more to write about, off to bed with me!

So it Begins

2010-08-16T22:57:00.000-05:00

So Band Camp officially got started today. I am in the Pit (woo!) and it seems a lot of people are still learning basics. Which is cool, but still it was very tedious just running through scales and stuff. Plus the marimba I was at was far to high for me so it was quite uncomfortable. Anyways I should be off to sleep soon so just wanted to make sure I got a little post up before bed. Gnight all and thanks for reading as always.

That's it, I'm Here (or Damn Jimmy)

2010-08-15T22:19:00.002-05:00

Here I am, at college. My audition for Drumline complete and now I am in my room should be going to sleep soon. I am aiming for 11. That way I can type this and play some StarCraft II to make me feel better. It was an emotional roller coaster today. I woke up and immediately started panicking. Just straight up panic. Then my mom and I hugged and we cried. Then I went and got Tasha, and we cried. Then we packed some more, some more tears. Ate, finished packing the car and drove here and it seems like it all flew by so fast. I already miss summer.

It seems like it flew by fast but it was a very long day. There was crying yesterday as well when I dropped off Tasha. Now anytime any family member texts me or wishes me good luck I come inches from losing it completely. It is nice and cold in here though. Bad service -glare AT&T- maybe I can convice my parents to get me that cell booster for AT&T so I can have awesome service in my room haha. I do need to figure out how to get my PS3 hooked up to the internet though. Game consoles are a lot different when hooking up to college Wi-Fi.

Ok, well I am gunna do some stuff, and chill and just try and stay calm. I am may wind up crying a little bit. Twitter on my iPhone is about to get very quiet as Twitter on my computer will become quite the hot spot. It seems like the bad service is only on campus. WHen I leave campus it's fine haha. Ok, well goodnight and this is the first of MANY blog entries about college (hopefully one every day woo). Ok, goodnight, thanks for reading.

P.S. The "Damn Jimmy" is a reference that hopefully some people will get.

Lewis Black "Me of Little Faith"

2010-08-10T00:19:00.002-05:00

I just finished a great book and I wanted to share some of the final lines in the last chapter. You should definitely check it out if you like looking at religion from different points of view. It's also quite funny so if you like comedy you should aslo check it out. I may actually review it... I have a few things I would like to review. I did that right? Yeah I did haha. One of the many things that this blog has experienced.

"So what it comes down to is this: I think comedy and religion share a lot of similarities.
They both help people gather in a space to share a common vision.
They both give people a sense of transcendence.
They both offer hope.
They both offer comfort.
They both are mysterious.
And they both gather the biggest crowds on the weekends." - Lewis Black "Me of Little Faith"

Wooo

2010-08-09T21:49:00.001-05:00

As my final week in Winfield trudges on I find myself in a bad mood this evening. It was probably the ferrying of younger sisters to and from various locations. And just having to leave my girlfriend multiple times to do so. My chair feels wobbly... May have to tighten the screws... Hmmm... Ahh oh well, it's stable enough. So yeah, just felt like typing I feel like college is approaching far too quickly at that summer went by waaaaaaaaay toooooooo fast. Oh well, I guess I will type later, just trying to keep this blog updated... maybe it will attract more readers. You guys should read my old stuff if you are interested I've been writing on this blog for a looong while. Ok, thanks for reading.

A Freshman Year at College

2010-08-07T23:58:00.003-05:00

So, I just thought of this idea. What if, for a whole year of college, I post EVERYDAY. That would be intense, right? I guess it would be a good way to keep me writing and for me to remember the first year. I can tweet and talk to people but if I blog the whole thing it could be epic, couldn't it? I think so, so starting next Sunday I will begin recording every day here on this blog. And I have less than 2 years left to be a "Teenage Guy" so I should make the most out of it right?

So I guess that is the plan then. I move in next Sunday so I can begin Band Camp (for TWO weeks (UGH)) so I guess I will start blogging that night after everything is done and over with. For now, I am going to enjoy my final week here in my hometown of Winfield. Thanks for reading!

EDIT: And by enjoy I mean play StarCraft II right now... and then some other stuff later... but first StarCraft II... yeah.

So... StarCraft II

2010-08-07T23:56:00.001-05:00

Just want to let you all know that this game is AMAZING and if you have any interest in RTS games or PC/Mac games AT ALL, you should buy this. Go and download it right now, digitally purchase it, whatever. Just GET IT. Ok, yeah, I felt this needed to be a post of it's own. Just cause. Ok, now onto some real stuff...

My Desk is Ready

2010-07-27T09:57:00.005-05:00

I have my desk all set up, all the cables ready to go and all that jazz. Hey, here's a picture (from my twitter feed).

-insert missing picture here-

I'm sitting in my room waiting for the UPS truck to pull up to my house and for the guy in the brown uniform to hand me my Collector's Edition of StarCraft. I'll be taking pictures and videos and stuff... why? Because I can.

StarCraft II

2010-07-26T18:33:00.002-05:00

StarCraft II arrives tomorrow (hopefully) I have release day delivery from GameStop for a Collector's Edition. I am watching a StarCraft II live stream tonight from GiantBomb so woo! Anyways, just thought I would throw that I will be playing out there and if anyone wants to friend me let me know! Yay SCII!!!

Hate

2010-07-16T19:18:00.002-05:00

Hate, what is hate? Well according to it's definition it is: "intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury b : extreme dislike or antipathy" (m-w.com). And I hate to break it to you all, but I do hate someone.

Do not fret it is not someone close or a friend or anything I just hate them. Plain and simple. And hate is not a word I use loosely. In fact I almost like everyone but there is this one person that I absolutely loathe. Now, you may be wondering "who is this mystery person" well I will not state his/her name simply because it is probably a better idea that I don't.

Now this wasn't someone I was friends with for a long time, or a family member, or anything like that, it is just someone that I tried to be friends with and it just got the door slammed hard in my face. Hey, what did I do? As far as I am concerned (and of course this is a one sided story) nothing... Wait, let me state that again... NOTHING. There that's better. Any who, I tried to be nice to this person because he/she was a friend of the girl I am now dating (I guess that kind of narrows down the list of possibilities). I invited him/her to every party I had, or bonfire, or anything that I had at my house. I went out with him/her and did everything I could to just get him/her to like me. Now, I start dating his/her friend and BAM (no I didn't get hit by a bus) but, haha, no more being nice.

Suddenly, I am the enemy. Fear me I guess. Now I get all these pranks pulled on me, and nastyness from his/her group of friends. Now, when I got to high school I essentially swore off childish behavior. I knew my life was ahead of me (and still is) so I do my best to be an adult, so I did not enjoy any of this, frankly, it pissed me off. Of course I question Tasha (my girlfriend) "why?" and she gives the clear response "I have no idea" and to this day we still have no idea. Now this whole friendship-trying-to-make thing was last summer and that BAM thing was last fall. The pranks kind of ended (there was one a few weeks ago but whatever), and they stopped talking to Tasha. Overtime less and less of her friends stopped talking to her. Her friends appear to have a problem with me dating her.

But she doesn't care. Which is the greatest thing in the world. I feel so bad for what has happened. It sucks, I am very grateful my friends have accepted us but it just seems like they have a problem with me and I have no idea what it is.

But anyways, I gave up. No more Mr. Nice Guy from me I just choose to ignore them and after all this time, I just don't like them (I guess I am saying them because it was a couple of people that did the pranks and stuff). In face I hate them. Well not them, just the one person. But hey, this bitterness didn't pop up until today when my heart sank.

She doesn't want to go out with him/her tonight but she wants to make everyone happy so she is. Which I can understand but him/her has been bothering about going out all summer and she just wants to get it over with. I am typing this while she is out. Which I guess is a good timing because it is keeping me distracted. I am going over to her house when she gets home and all will be well in the universe. Just stinks because her phone got shut off so I haven't been able to text her for over a month (my typing skills on my iPhone have drastically declined, seriously!). Oh well, just have to get over this hump and everything will be ok.

I guess that is all for this longer post then usual. In good news the Pancake Monday Podcast seems to be going fairly well, and I just got the Fire Brigade LEGO set yesterday and after two days of hard work it is complete and sitting aside its brothers (picture on my twitter feed (which is on the right)). Life is going pretty well as college quickly approaches. Summer is going by a tad too quickly for my liking and it stinks. Oh well, I am trying to make the most out of everything. I have a new desk and it's awesome. StarCraft 2 beta is awesome and I have release day delivery from Amazon so woo! So, that's all for now, thanks for reading and please comment and stuff and check out Pancake Monday Podcast! Bye!

#115

2010-07-12T08:52:00.002-05:00

As summer rages on I realize that it is... well... raging on. Summer will be over before I know it and next thing I know I will be in college doing college stuff. AHH! I am freaking scared out of my mind. There is no way this is where I am in my life! BAH. How the hell did I get here so fast? -head desk- Damn... Oh well... I will make the most out of the summer I have left and try not to worry about anything too much.

Reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone again. Also reading a Lewis Black book. Both are going very well. LIstening to Paul McCartney's Memory Almost Full also very good. Enjoying my new desk (I'll post a picture) and yeah. Life is just dandy right now, woo.

StarCtaft II

2010-07-05T23:36:00.002-05:00

Yes... I bought the first StarCraft so I could get into the SCII Beta. It was awesome, I became obsessed. Now I am waiting for Phase 2 of the beta. I also pre-ordered the game and got release day delivery from Amazon. Why Amazon? I trust them and I do kind of want to go out at midnight and get it but I figured I could save that for another day.

Anyways, life is going fairly well. I have a desk now so I am totally rocking the dual monitor thing and playing games while watching YouTube videos at the same time and stuff. LIke right there I had to go over and press something on the other screen. What else... Ummm.... Summer is going well, hopefully the rest of it doesn't fly by too quickly.

Ok well, I don't know what else to type about, check out Pancake Monday Podcast cause it's awesome. Ok, ttfn!

Well Then...

2010-06-23T00:31:00.003-05:00

Well Pancake Monday Podcast seems to be taking an early jump start, and that is great! It's just no one can download it until our bandwidth is upped which could take a few days. Oh well, we will march on! Anyways, summer is going fairly well so far. Orientation for college was last weekend and I found a great roommate. Things with Tasha are rolling along well even though she doesn't have texting right now which stinks but no matter, I am more in love then ever. iOS4 is only ok for my iPhone 3G. It is slowing some things down but I like having the folders and the bottom looks a little cleaner.

Speaking if Apple products my MacBook Pro is about to get a lot of use. I was requested to make a large slide show for a party this Sunday. I will be scanning pictures in and loading pictures on and it should get me nice and used to iMovie and the way all the Apple stuff communicates together.

Ok so that is all for today, thanks for reading and I'll post again soon.

Pancake Monday Podcast

2010-06-13T13:18:00.002-05:00

Jake Neuman and Lava-Productions is pleased to present Pancake Monday Podcast

A new podcast featuring, well, everyone that shows up to Pancake Mondays. It should be a ton of fun and hopefully it will all go well haha. Now it may be more often than every Monday this summer, but that's besides the point. After things get rolling you should expect to see it on iTunes and hopefully all over the various blogs/sites I have going on. This project is a long time coming and hopefully everyone will enjoy it. Look for more news tomorrow when recording officially begins!

I miss LOST

2010-06-09T10:52:00.002-05:00

Just saying I miss LOST. I also graduated and summer vacation has finally begun. Doesn't feel real yet. Also the LEGO architecture sets are really cool, I have three of them now. Should I buy inFamous? I think I should... I need a job. I would like to have a day with Tasha alone soon. Having family in town has really taken away from that this past week and I am getting desperate to do nothing but be with her. Yes I am going to Olivet Nazarene University this coming school year. Orientation is at the end of next week. I would like to go and spend a whole day downtown this summer. LEGOs are cool. I am going to need to figure out how how to get my mac on two screens because I have a chord on the way to let me plug it into the television, gotta love Amazon gift cards for graduation.

I don't know what else I could rant about. Oh, podcasting will hopefully become a big thing this summer, maybe every week question mark? Just stay tuned I guess. The pro mics at the Apple Store were dang expensive, but putting the computer in the middle of a table and just talking around it seems to work fairly well haha. I miss LOST.

Ok, I guess that is all for today, I'll b-log more later. Thanks for reading!

What I find to be true...

2010-05-30T23:02:00.003-05:00

The following things I find to be true:

It is Sunday May 30th, 2010
I am on a MacBook Pro
LOST is over
I am in love
A baby just cried across the hall
I write better at night
I graduate in a week
I will miss high school
Summer will be great
I am listening to The Killers
Life can be amazing
Life can suck
The air conditioning is on and I am cold
LOST is over
My battery power is at 98%
I am using Google Chrome
I miss my love right now
I enjoy One Tree Hill
A lot of these sentences have started with "I"
I like falling asleep to the GiantBombcast
I like the little spy guy in the upper right corner of the "Incognito Winow" for Chrome
I mowed the lawn today
I like bonfires
I love my friends
I love playing the piano
I love playing music in general
My keyboard has a back light
I love video games
I am Jake
I am 18
I am about to enter the realish world
And I am scared.

Just do me a favor and watch this...

2010-05-17T18:44:00.004-05:00

If you like LOST, and love John Locke (like me) you will absolutely enjoy this.

Go John Locke!

Life and Death

2010-05-16T22:33:00.002-05:00

I know, I know morbid but don't take it that way! It is simply my favorite show from...

Yes, in one week LOST will be over. It is quite a bittersweet time, we will finally get the end to what is possibly the greatest television saga of all time but I will miss it forever. I can't wait to get my full blu-ray box set it shall be EPIC and worth every penny.

Not much to talk about this week, life is going good, I have finally decided on a college... I am attending Olivet Nazarene University next year. Ok, that's about it haha. Have a great week everyone!

Such a Night

2010-05-02T22:27:00.002-05:00

What a night Prom 2010 was. It was absolutely fantastic. I loved every second of it. The above guy is Dr. John who sings Such a Night I personally prefer the version from The Last Waltz one of the greatest, if not the greatest, concerts of all time. Ok, what has gone down in the last week, well...

Not much really, I visited another college and it kind of confirmed that I think I am going to Olivet. I am fairly certain now I just have to let everyone know in some fun way. What else... Umm... Not a lot happened last week, there wasn't that much school so it was a rather quiet week.

Tasha and I are still going strong, and I'm loving every second I get to spend with her. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day with her and her family and I guess that's a good thing. I just wish prom weekend could have just been about us. Like I wish a group of us could have gone somewhere for fun or something but oh well. We have been having a fun conversation all night so I am in a very good mood right now.

But yeah the majority of last week was focused on Prom. I ate, I danced, we rode in a limo, we ate some more than we didn't all get home until after 3 am but that was fun. Dancing for me is a huge let out like all the energy I have all the worries and emotions I carry are all just let out while at a dance, it's a lot of fun for me. And no one usually sees me like that so it's even more fun when they see me and go "Yeah Jae-Jae!" Brings a smile to my face.

Ok, I think that's enough rambling from me, thanks for reading!

All These Things That I've Done

2010-04-25T22:21:00.003-05:00

Can you see the reoccurring theme with song titles? I thought it would be interesting to do for at least a little while.

So, I have done a lot with my life. From school, to my friendships, to my family, to my relationship with Tasha. And, all these things that I have done I am ultimately proud of. So proud of. Sure I have had my bad moments but as the phrase under my blog states why complain about them?

It is late tonight so there wont be much this week. Other than it has been a pretty darn good week. I don't think Tasha and I have fought at all which is awesome. I want to have a real conversation with her soon about college stuff though. That would be nice. Oh and the person who commented last week, thanks! I appreciate it I just wish who I knew you were... Hmm... There are a few people you could be... Hmm... Oh well that mystery is for another day.

Ok, so it was a good week, and this Tuesday I am visiting North Central and I will be making my college decision probably by Thursday or Friday. I hope it will be the right decision and yeah. I'm sure it will be. Even if I don't wind up going to the same place as Tasha it will all work out I am sure of it. Just the thought of being without her next year is tough and pulls at my heart stings but it should all work out if it is meant to be (like I think it is).

Also I have been kind of working on a small screenplay thing. I think the idea itself is good, just pulling it off is a completely other story. I have this vision in my head of what it would look like down to every last detail it is just beyond difficult to put those details down on a word document.

Ok, I think that is all for this week, as always thanks for reading and I'll (hopefully) be posting next week!

Carry that Weight

2010-04-18T21:50:00.004-05:00

Boy, you're gunna carry that weight, carry that weight a long time.

Words from what is probably my favorite band of all time. I can relate incredibly well. I carry the weight of my life upon my shoulders each and every day. From school, to future school, to a job, to band, to my parents, to my whole family. No matter what I seem to do I can never satisfy my family. I could be the top student at my school and they would probably still not be happy. I quit pit orchestra so I could focus on getting a job, my mom said I didn't have my priorities straight. HELLO? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT WANTED ME TO GET A JOB.

At least I have Tasha by my side. She sees what I see and knows what I feel. I wish I could have talked it out more with her tonight but she fell asleep I think. I didn't do as many journal entries as usual this past week. Though I am doing one today which is good, it's always good to come back to. Once a week like this will be good.

I have had some ideas for some podcasts recently, having a mac will do that to a guy. There is one that is a solo idea that would be nice to vent and stuff and there is one that would just be plain fun. I can't give away the name because I don't want it to be stolen and I don't even know it may have been used already. Or it may be copyrighted and completely off limits but oh well I will look into it. The microphone in my mac itself isn't bad at all. Tasha and I were just sitting here talking and it was picking everything up pretty well and pretty clear too not like muffled or anything, I wonder where the mic is on this thing. Anyways back to the weight on my shoulders...

I have to make the decision on where I want to go to school. I need a job. I need... wait I don't need to satisfy my parents, I only need to do what is right for me. I need to do what I need to do that will make me happy, I can't be bent on satisfying them my whole life it will lead to who knows where. I need to do what is best for me not them.

Ok, thanks for reading my blog whoever does. Comment if you do, follow me on Twitter (feed on the right) or email me or whatever it doesn't matter to me, I just like to know someone out there is reading what I am posting. Ok, thanks for reading, talk to you all next week hopefully.

All in Good Time

2010-04-10T10:24:00.002-05:00

If you have not heard of the band Barenaked Ladies, then shame on you. Next to The Beatles they are my favorite band of all time. I have been a fan of theirs for quite some time now and they have just released one of their greatest records. After Steven Page left I was wondering what would happen, and it turns out something great happened. The music is beautiful and there is a song on there that reminds of my classic BNL fun. So, if you get the chance look it up on iTunes or on YouTube or whatever you do. I would love to get a hard copy of this CD, I only have it downloaded of iTunes right now.

I have been enjoying my MacBook Pro A LOT. It just works so well and runs so smoothly and all that jazz. I actually am keeping journal like entries on it within the Stickies application. I believe it is helping me get through things very well, I have been debating whether to post them or not and I'm still thinking about it. Sure it would keep my blog updated more frequently but some of it is dang personal. I do a new stickie every day and type anything that comes to mind all day (well, not during school obviously).

Things with Tasha are going well right now, we are actually going to spend a bunch of the day together until this evening. I'm not sure what else to type haha. How about I love her a lot and am always thinking about our possible future together. She does some things that get on my nerves sometimes but that can't be avoided. Every relationship has its little problems and hopefully we can work past them and have our relationship grow even stronger. I never want to lose her. I know it's crazy to be saying stuff like that and I am only in high school but it's true.

Speaking of high school... I have entered my final two months of my high school career. Kind of extremely frightening actually. One of those damn what am I going to do next moments. I have really enjoyed high school, some of the greatest times, greatest memories, and greatest friendships have been made. For instance last night on my way home from a DVC jazz fest with the jazz band one of my friends and I were able to talk about the difference between stairs, stairways, halls, corridors, streets, roads and a lot of other stuff it was crazy and our band director couldn't believe we made it last that long.

Ok, Tasha is on her way over now, so I guess I will end this and I hope to post more often now that I have my own computer and I have been looking into podcast stuff on this thing again (yay garage band!) and hopefully I can get a fun podcast going with a bunch of friends possible over the summer. Ok, as always, thanks for reading!

I'm a Mac

2010-03-28T18:10:00.002-05:00

That's right, I am officially a Mac user now. To be more specific, a 15 inch MacBook Pro. Can someone say best day ever? It is my graduation present and my mom surprised me by telling me we could get it very early. So we got it on Friday March 26th, 2010. It is the official birth date of my mac, isn't it exciting? I don't mean to brag about it I am just the shock and awe phase of getting it considering I didn't expect to get it until at least June, so you could say I am having an extremely good time. I am in Nevada btw, we went to the Apple store here and got it, I just have to get it back to Chicago safe and sound on Tuesday. My mom and I are here visiting my new baby cousin Lucas who was born back in August. He was baptized this past weekend and my mom is a godmother, again. I read at the baptism too so it's all good. Hmm, I don't have much else to type on. Keep an eye on my Twitter as always, I have kind of slowed down on the Twittering thing but I still update at least once a day. Ok, I'm done with this now, thanks for reading as always!

~Jake

GiantBomb and The Beatles

2010-03-02T18:43:00.005-06:00

Within this video you will find some of the funniest Beatles jokes ever. Even though they only change Beatles songs to kinds of foods it is hilarious. My favorite is the last one they say. http://www.giantbomb.com/

Insanity

2010-02-17T19:26:00.001-06:00

So it turns out I have a college audition for scholarships on Friday and I just found out about it today. Oh crap.

Jesus

2010-01-18T22:04:00.000-06:00

Hey Jesus, how are ya? I've been talking to you more this year than I did last year and I believe it's helping. This year I am hoping and praying that I will be able to connect to you more than ever before. In the past I've connected to you but it never seems to stay a strong connection. Now, I am hoping to change that. I'm not going to go to church every Sunday but I hope to be talking to you more.

It's something I feel I need to do in order to feel complete in a sense. Now, I've seen every side of religion and sometimes it seems like the most ridiculous thing in the world, heck I did a very long and detailed post about it last year, but I want that mindset to change. I want to go back to being able to talk to you for real, and be able ask you for help and guidence as my life goes through a change into adulthood. I am entering college and will need guidence to choose the right college for me one that will help me get to where I want to go.

So, on top of this prayer I am typing tonight for myself, I also want to ask you to help Tasha. She is going through a tremendously hard time right now and she needs your help and blessing to get her through it and come out even better on the other side. Please help her.

So thanks for listening to my prayer and I'll talk to ya tomorrow.

Amen (Let it be so)

This makes 100 posts my friends. Thanks for reading and I'll post again soon.

Goodbye 2009

2010-01-02T17:45:00.003-06:00

So long 2009, thank you for being one of the greatest years of my life. Now, onto 2010, where the rest of my life begins. High School graduation will come and then college will begin.

I'm sorry I haven't been giving too much attention to this lately, I guess falling in love has kept me occupied. That's right, I fell in love. I can't help that we talk about our future together, and the fact that we are perfect for each other.

Hmm, just had a happy thought. ANYWAYS, let's see what have I been up too... Well, not much lots of hanging out with friends, enjoying my final winter break before all hell begins. Finals and then the final semester of my high school career. Very sad and very scary at the same time. Life for reals is beginning.

Ok, off-topic real quick but if you are looking for some great music check out "The Band", and more specifically their last concert "The Last Waltz" it isn't on iTunes, but you can check it out on YouTube.

Ok, I'm not really sure what else to type besides follow me on Twitter (updates on the right) and check out my AudioBoo's! Thanks for reading!

~Jake

I guess I'll just start babbling...

2009-10-06T13:34:00.002-05:00

I guess I'll just start babiling.

I'm at home sick. I'm typing this on my iPhone 3G because my original iPhone decided to stop working. It's been a wonderful month. My best friend on the planet is now my girlfriend. My life seems to revolve around band these days. Marching band, jazz band and orchestra. I've been texting my gf all day while she's at school. She cares a lot about me, it's really sweet. She's really worried when I'm sick. I'm watching The Nightmare Before Christmas on Blu-Ray on my HDTV. I read The Lost Symbol and it was great. I should write a review. The style of this movie and the details are outstanding. Oh mayor. What else... I'm trying to think... I pre ordered the next Ratchet and Clank on Sunday. I've been playing the Uncharted 2 Beta. The Beatles: Rock Band is awesome. I have the Let it Be remasterd CD which is also awesome. He just fell through the Christmas door. This is one of my favorite songs to play on the piano. I'm gunna stop now and watch the movie.

This was sent from a text message on my iPhone.